Title: Dark Prey -- Elementals
Author: elsie-the-dweeb
Genre: Fantasy
Chapters Read: 4
Date: 8 January 2020
Title: 5/5
The title suits the theme of your story well. You've introduced in the former chapters (discreetly, of course) why the book has been named as such. Good job at choosing a title!
Cover: 2/5
The cover is, say, too simple for your story. A peaceful sunset has no relation to the amount of mystery and tension you have in your story. I'd say you get some professional-looking graphics since this is a fantasy story. Here are some cool graphic designers I know. To ensure their quality, I'll let you know that they have designed covers of my fantasy books.
GeekGoddess-
She made the graphics for 'Beyond the Veil'.
CannibalisticNecro
She made the graphics for 'Forbidden'.
avadel
They made the page break of 'Beyond the Veil'.
Summary: 4/5
Your summary was pretty nice. It included everything a good summary should have. It introduced the main character, depicted the crisis, and the stakes of the story.
Though, there were a few grammatical mistakes that I'd like to point out in your summary.
And if that isn't bad enough he has a death...
He can't be burned and he can...
There's more to the world than meets the eye and soon...
You're missing a comma up there in all those sentences. Here is the correction you need to do in order to make them sound natural.
And if that isn't bad enough, he has a death...
He can't be burned, and he can...
There's more to the world than meets the eye, and soon...
There is another issue in the last line of the synopsis.
...on a grave journey across the country to, hopefully, save the world.
Saying this out loud, it feels strange. Here is a modification you can do.
...on a grave journey across the country to save the world.
Correct these errors and your synopsis will be perfect.
Grammar: 3.5/5
Your grammar was pretty spot-on most of the time. However, there were times when I felt you could've done better. Your issues are quite minimal, and a normal reader wouldn't be affected by them but as your reviewer, it is my job to point out even those smallest issues so your book can become more polished.
Here is a list of a few mistakes you end up making unintentionally.
• Missing commas and A few Dialogue tag errors
Yes, those things are tedious, and unfortunately, that is your biggest problem too. You sometimes either forget to add a comma or you forget to add the comma before a dialogue tag.
I groaned. "Can you not take the hint?"
There is a missing comma instead of a full stop. 'I groaned' is a dialogue tag.
YOU ARE READING
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