Sunday Mornings

Jon

Jon

Jon stood vigil as the family gathered around Adam in his last moments, keeping a close eye on Richie just as he'd promised.

Reverend Burrows had arrived not long after Jon had called him. The kindly older gent spoke with Joan and the family as Jon stood in the doorway. He slipped out without being noticed as soon as the Reverend had started to lead the family in prayer.

Jon sat on the top step and tuned out to the drone of the unfamiliar voice. He wasn't going to be a hypocrite. He didn't believe in God or religion. Richie knew that and understood.

They'd spent many hours discussing formal religion with both agreeing that the institution of religion wasn't for them. Richie, however, still held his faith in God and due to the circumstances, participated in the ritual being performed for his father.

Jon had lost his faith many years ago after praying for years to God for his mother to come looking for him.

She never came.

Jon, who had been around 8 or 9 then, had railed at God for not answering his prayers. The prayers eventually stopped, the angry recriminations stopped and he just gave up on his faith in a make-believe being.

Jon showed the Reverend to the door after he'd said his quiet goodbyes to the family.

"I noticed you weren't with us in prayer, Jon?" he asked.

"That's right," Jon replied, crossing his arms defensively.

"May I ask why?"

"When you've had the life I have, you only believe in the tangible," Jon shrugged. "Then if you're disappointed, you've only got yourself to blame for not investigating things properly before making a decision."

"Such a jaded view for one so young."

"I don't wanna seem disrespectful," Jon said, "but it's all bullshit. After being shunted from foster home to foster home from the age of 4, then ending up in the last one where my parents physically and sexually abused me every day, then if I'm jaded then so be it."

"But what about when you meet that someone special and she wants to get married in the church?" Reverend Burrows asked, "Will you come back to religion then?"

"I do have someone special already and we will get married someday but right now he's upstairs watching his father die."

Jon stood his ground as the older clergyman blinked at him, unable to counter Jon's statement.

The Reverend gathered his wits and said, "It's not too late to repent and change your ways. Sinners will burn in hell!"

"Goodbye, Reverend," Jon opened the door and closed it again after pushing him out.

Jon gave religion a mental Fuck You as he hurried back up the stairs. As he entered the room, he had a sinking feeling that something wasn't right.

"Oh fuck, no," he murmured.

He saw Joan draped over Adam's chest and his siblings embracing, quietly crying.

"Mookie?" Jon said hoarsely, laying his hand on Richie's shoulder.

Richie turned to him, his eyes flooded with tears. Jon pulled him into his arms and held on tight as silent sobs shook Richie's frame. He soothed him the best he could.

He couldn't tell how long he held Richie but the world continued to revolve around them. Jon was vaguely aware of Loretta, or it could have been Stella or even Sophie, moving around them to Joan's side to offer her comfort.

Each of Adam's sisters and Edward said their goodbyes to their brother and one by one left the room. Edward bent to speak with Joan and Jon heard him mention Doc Fredricks and the authorities. He must have offered to make the necessary calls. He squeezed Jon's shoulder in support on his way out.

It left Jon with Richie and Joan. Richie's tears had dried to hiccups and sniffles finally, and he pulled away from Jon to swipe his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry, Mookie," Jon said, "Are you okay?" He realised it was a stupid question as soon as it left his lips and mentally face-palmed himself. "Damn it, I know you're not okay...."

Richie offered him a small smile, "It's okay, Cowboy. I know what you meant."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here," Jon continued, "The good Reverend decided to lecture me on my lack of religious faith on his way out the door, otherwise I would have been here."

"He always was a pompous ass," Richie replied. He then turned and saw his mom still lying with his dad. He slipped from Jon's arms and knelt by her side.

Jon watched, waited to see if he could help as Richie gently coaxed his mother around.

"Mom?" he said, "He's gone, mom. He's not in pain anymore." He gently lifted her from his dad's body. "C'mon, mom. Come downstairs now."

Richie got Joan to stand up, supporting her on one side. Jon rushed to her other side and did the same. Joan looked up them both and with a sad smile, said, "He was so proud of you both. He said his boys were his greatest gift."

Jon swallowed hard over the emotion that suddenly caught in his throat as they escorted Joan down the stairs. He hadn't expected to feel this way. Sure, he'd grown fond of Richie's parents over the years but to be included in a powerful statement like that, it blew him away.

Richie settled his mom on the sofa and she was immediately surrounded by her sisters-in-law with a cup of strong, sweet tea.

"I need a cigarette," Richie said to Jon after seeing his mom being taken care of, "Come with me?"

Jon nodded and followed Richie outside. On their way through the kitchen, Edward stopped Richie and explained that he'd made the call to the doctor and the funeral home and both would be here shortly.

"Thanks, Uncle Eddie," Richie said, "I appreciate your help."

"It's no bother, Rich. I'll have something a bit stronger than tea waiting for you when you come back inside," he said with a wink.

Once outside, Richie paced the yard again as Jon passed him a lit cigarette.

"Christ, it feels like I haven't seen the sun in months," Richie sighed as he turned his head up to the evening sky. He drew deeply on the smoke between his fingers.

"You will, babe," Jon sympathised, "The first weekend of summer, we'll head to the beach and we'll sit on the beach all day just soaking up the sun."

"God, can we?" He stopped in his tracks and Jon noted the play of emotions over his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I...it just occurred to me that I was planning a weekend in the future when dad can't do that anymore. It felt...wrong, I guess. Fuck!"

Jon took Richie's hand and held it over his heart, "He's here. In your heart. You know that he would want you to keep going on with your life. You and your mom."

"I know...," he whispered sadly and went back to blankly gazing up at the sky as Jon hovered close by.

*~*

Later that evening after Doc Fredricks and the authorities had left and the funeral directors had finished taking details and arranging for Adam's body to be transported, Jon was in the bedroom looking for his cigarettes.

"Finally," he exclaimed. He shook it, then opened it only to find it empty. With a disgruntled sigh, he crumpled it before throwing it in the trash.

"Babe, I'm outta smokes," Jon said, "I'm just going to run out and get some more." He grabbed his car keys and wallet.

"Sure. Want me to come with you?" Richie was sorting and folding the washing Jon had done.

"Umm, no it's okay," Jon replied as he shrugged into his jacket, "You stay in case you're needed. Besides, I thought I'd go see Mom and Da...fuck, sorry."

Richie stopped what he was doing and pinned Jon with an unreadable look.

"Don't! Don't you dare, Jonny," Richie growled, "That's the last fucking thing I want or need from you. I don't want your pity, okay?"

"Babe, I didn't mean to...," Jon started to say.

"I know!" Richie cried then huffed out a frustrated breath, "I know...but please don't stop calling Eddie dad just because mine isn't here anymore."

His voice wavered toward the end of his plea and Jon folded him into his arms.

"You deserve to have a loving dad, darlin'," Richie said, "Flo and Eddie love you so please don't deny them that."

"I just didn't want to upset you," Jon said, holding Richie closer.

"And I love you for that, darlin'," Richie said softly, "but I'm okay. I got to talk to Dad and tell him I love him."

"That was the one thing that would have broken me if I didn't get to do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Hmm...yeah. I think so," he sighed, "I'm more worried about mom right now."

"Yeah, she's taking it hard, but that's understandable, I guess," Jon pulled his head back slightly to look at Richie. "I'd be distraught if I lost you."

"That's not gonna happen, Cowboy." He brushed some hair from Jon's face before touching his lips to Jon's in a tender kiss. "Now go see Eddie and Flo and get your last pack of smokes. Maybe grab some beer, too?"

"Yeah, sure...wait! Last pack?!"

"We're giving them up...or going to at least try to. Dad was a smoker too and look where that got him?!" He stood to place some folded shirts into a drawer.

Jon could see his point but he wasn't so sure it was going to be a simple task. He decided to just go with it for the moment but he could already feel the withdrawals happening. He pouted and said, "Can we talk about this when I get back?"

Richie was just about to agree when a knock on the bedroom door interrupted him

"Richard?" Sophie called through the barrier, "Do you have a moment, sweetheart? Can you please look over the arrangements? Joan can't seem to be able to concentrate and we don't want to miss anything."

"Be right there, Aunt Sophie," he called back. He sat heavily on the side of the bed.

"Go help your mom. I'll be back soon." Jon stroked his back as he spoke.

Richie nodded and pushed himself upright again, opening the door, "Whatever happens?"

Jon said, "Whatever happens, Mookie."


*~*

Jon had stopped to get his cigarettes and some beer then drove over to the Rashbaum's home. He smiled when he saw David's car in the drive. God, it feels like a lifetime ago that he was teasing him for being in bed with them that morning.

Jon killed the car and let himself in the back door.

"Hello?!" he called out. He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on the hook beside the door.

"Jon?!" Flo replied, "We're in the dining room, sweetheart. David, go get Jon a dinner plate, please."

"He's in the kitchen," David protested, "he can get it himself!"

Jon had to grin at his family's antics. It soothed a little of his sore heart.

However, it also broke down a little of the barrier that he'd put up around his grief over Adam's death. He came to a sudden stop as it washed over him in a tidal wave, so forceful that it took his breath away. His face crumpled and he slammed his hand over his mouth as a sob bubbled up from his chest.

"What's taking you so-," David burst through the door just as he broke, "Oh fuck...Jonny."

He took Jon into a hard, brotherly embrace as the wall finally came down. He cried against David's shoulder just as Richie had done with him. He was oblivious to the fact that David shooed Flo away from the kitchen when she came to investigate or the hushed voices coming from the dining room.

Finally, the tears subsided and Jon stepped away from David.

"I'm sorry, Davey," Jon said hoarsely.

"Fuck off," he replied, "What are brothers for if not to get snotted on now and again. Colty's done worse to me."

He paused, then said, deadly serious, "You could have told me, man. I could have helped."

Jon swiped his hand under his nose and nodded, "I know but-."

"Unca Jon! Unca Jon!"

Colton ran up to his uncle from the dining room, obviously having been set free from his high chair. Jon scooped up the little boy and buried his nose into his neck breathing deeply. It was just the thing he needed.

"Unca Jon sad?" Colton touched the tears on Jon's face. "Why sad? You got ouchie, Unca Jon? I kiss better."

"No, baby, no ouchie." Jon smiled fondly.

"Do you remember Uncle Mookie's dad?" Colton nodded. "Well he got very sick and he had to go away tonight. We all had to say goodbye to him."

Jon heard a soft noise come from the doorway. He glanced over to see Amber, Flo and Eddie standing in the doorway. He gave them a brief, sad smile.

"He get better and come back?"

"No, Colty, he's not coming back. Uncle Mookie and his mom are very sad tonight too. Their hearts are sore. But Mookie's dad will watch over them from somewhere up in the sky."

"Unca Jon kiss Unca Mookie's ouchie?"

David snorted in mirth and Jon grinned, "It'll take more than a kiss for this ouchie."

"C'mon Colton," Amber said, "Leave Uncle Jon to talk to Grandma and Grandpa. Time for your bath."

"No! No baff," Colton said and tightened his arms around Jon's neck.

"Go have your bath, Colty, and I'll read you a story before I go back to Mookie, okay?" Jon loosened the little limbs and kissed his cheek.

"Yay! Story!" The little boy wriggled out of Jon's arm and ran to his mother.

"I'll talk to you later, Jon," Amber kissed his cheek and patted his back, "Give Richie and Joan my love, won't you?!"

"Thanks. I will," Jon replied. He then drew in a deep breath as Flo stepped over to him.

Flo didn't say a word, just opened her arms to him and Jon gratefully stepped into them. He drew on the love and strength Flo offered to him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," she said and relinquished her hold on Jon finally, "Was it rough? Richie and Joan...are they okay?"

Jon accepted a brief hug from Eddie, who was moving between the dining room and kitchen as he cleared the table with David's help.

"Mrs S is taking it hard," Jon said as he helped himself to coke from the fridge, "but Richie's aunts and uncle are there helping."

"And Richie?" Eddie asked.

Jon stopped to think and with a small shrug said, "As good as can be expected. It was rough when Mr S woke and you could see and hear how much pain he was in, but they both said what they needed to. I think they're both at peace now."

"Well...if we can do anything, just let us know," Eddie offered, "Do you know when the service is?"

"End of the week, I believe," Jon said, "I'll let you know more later. I don't want to stay away too long tonight. Can I use your phone before I go?"

"Of course you can, sweetheart," Flo said, "Can I fix you a plate of food? Do you have time?"

"Thanks, but don't bother with the food," Jon said, "Richie's family have cooked enough food to keep an army going."

The four of them were still in the kitchen as Colton's happy squeals from the bathroom rent the air. All four of them looked to the ceiling and smiled.

"So what happened to all the equipment?" David asked Jon.

"Simon and the guys were coming home on the bus," Jon said and took a sip of his coke, "They should be home by the weekend."

"Have you been home yet, sweetheart?" Flo asked.

Jon shook his head and said, "No, not yet. I need to call the bar too, I guess, and let them know we should be back next week."

"I can call in there for you tomorrow," David said.

"Thanks, Davey," Jon said as he rubbed his eyes tiredly, "I guess I should make that phone call and get going."

"Good luck trying to get out of reading a story now," Eddie chuckled, "Go make your phone call. I'll head Colty off for a little bit."

"Okay, thanks. I won't be long."

He took his coke into the den with him and closed the door. Reaching into his back pocket for his wallet, he fished out the business card that Nikki had slipped to him as he'd left them at the airport.

He punched in the numbers and listened to the dial tone, apprehensively.

"Your coin!"

"Nikki?"

"Nah, dude. This is Tommy. Nikki's here, though. Can I tell him who's calling?"

"It's Jon."

"Oh! Jon! Heard a lot about you, dude! Hang on, I'll get Nikki for you."

"Thanks...," he said to the dead air. Tommy had already left.

Jon heard the receiver being picked up, "Loverboy?"

"Nikki...can you be here by Friday?"

"For Richie...I'd do anything. I'll be there."