Milk and Cookies

i'm scared...

i'm scared to miss you
i'm scared to feel the hole you left behind
when you left me behind.

i'm scared to wake up at night
aching for your touch
to be close to you, to hold you, for you
to hold me.

i'm scared to admit
just how much i need you.
you were always there 
before i knew i needed someone there
but now you can't be there
because you're there, and i'm still here.

i'm scared i'll obsess
over your pictures, over our memories
wearing them down until their meaning is gone
and they're just empty, devoid of emotion.

i'm scared, i'm scared, i'm so damn scared.
i'm scared of it all.

i'm scared to miss you
but above all, i'm scared that eventually,
with enough time,
i won't. 

i'm scared to forget the little things
i'm scared of going days without thinking of you
i'm scared of settling into routines
routines and patterns for how i live my life
routines that don't include you.

i'm scared not to miss you,
i'm scared you won't miss me.