Broken Trains And Exposed Veins

6 | Confessions And Arrivals

        I open my eyes to see a shocked expression plastered on Logan’s face. I can sense a smile underneith, but right now the only thing forseeable is shock.

        “That was - wow,” Logan manages to blurt out and scratches behind his ear. A bright smile now starts to grow on his lips, the lips which were pressed against mine only seconds ago. The aftertaste of chocolate and salmon is still lingering on my lips. I break out in a smile seeing Logan sitting there, one hand against his head in disbelief and one hand still on my thigh. My cheeks start to heaten up and I avert my gaze to the ground.

        “You look cute when you’re blushing,” Logan’s voice breaks the silence and I feel his hand lift my head up, making me look at him. I feel the heat in my cheeks rise even more and I probably look like a swollen tomato by now. Softly Logan’s lips touch mine again, almost brushing them rather than pressing. Again, a tingling feeling flows through me as an effect of his intimate touch.

        I rest my head against his chest and I feel his heart beating. I feel Logan resting his head on mine, occasionally placing soft kisses on my head. My eyes start to feel heavy, even though we took a nap earlier. I crawl myself closer against Logan, erasing the left over space between us. And with his arms draped around me, holding me tight, I drift off to sleep.

        “Wakey, wakey, my two lovers.” My eyes flutter open at the sound of Mary’s upbeat voice. Her face beams - but when doesn’t it - and she’s stood above us, watching the scene consisting of Logan and I sleeping on the ground in a somewhat intimate way. His arms are still around me and I’m lying on him with my head and upper body. Our legs are intertwined and I detect a hint of a smirk on Mary’s lips.

        “Wake up, Logan,” I whisper and softly shake the boy lying beside me. Through the window rays of sun are covering the blue interior with a golden haze. Noticing how the snow has stopped falling, makes me understand why Mary is here to wake us up.

        Logan, finally awake, groans and turns his head to face me. As soon as I see his beautiful green eyes, a smile grows on my lips.

        “Goodmorning, babe,” he smiles and plants a kiss on my lips. For a second Logan seems confused as I don’t kiss him back as passionately as he expected, but when I nudge over to Mary, his face flushes into a deep shade of red.

        “So I guess I was right after all; you two are lovers!” Mary exclaims happily. Both Logan and I break out in awkward smiles.

        “Only since last night, really,” Logan mumbles, squeezing my hand.

        “That’s so adorable. See, I knew you two would be perfect for each other,” Mary coos, before turning serious. “Anyway, I’m here to bring some good news; the train will be able to leave in a matter of minutes,’’ Mary says enthusiastically. But somehow I don’t find this good news at all. The past twelve hours have been amazing, away from everything else - a break from reality. And best of all, I got to experience it with Logan, weirdly enough already so precious to me even though I only met him yesterday. It seems like he shares the same thought as I seeing his furrowed eyebrows and shocked expression. I feel his hand squeezing mine, his touch feeling so familiar yet new.

        “Well, I’m off to the next person. See you later.” And Mary is gone, leaving Logan and I alone again.

        “I don’t want to go,” I mumble and meet his gaze. Streaks of light are covering bits of his skin in a golden glow, causing his eyes to seem even prettier.

        “Me neither,” he sighs, stroking my hand with his thumb. Sure, I’ve only been in the same room with him for the last twelve hours, but for some strange reason we’ve grown very close in that short amount of time. We shared lots of things too, both sandwiches and saliva.

        During the ride to the train station we were supposed to be half a day ago, it’s awfully quiet in our cabin. Our cabin. The room we met, the room we had our first kiss, the room where I woke up and the first thing I saw was his face.  

        “Wanna know something?” Logan suddenly starts. As I nod he continues. “I never had any train sickness, nor did I need the paracetamol for anything else. I just wanted to find a reason to talk to you. When I entered the train yesterday, the first thing that caught my eye was you. You were sitting there, quietly staring out of the window. When you smiled at me, my heart skipped a beat. Your smile is so amazing, it could probably cure diseases. And when I had my lips against yours last night, I felt like the happiest guy out there.” Logan’s voice is raspy, and I notice the train has stopped at the station. A feeling of sadness starts to grow inside of me and I feel tears welling up.

        “I love you,” I whisper and softly kiss Logan on his lips.

        “I love you too,” he whispers back when our lips have seperated. And just like our lips seperated, about ten minutes later, our ways seperate as well. He goes right, I go left. But there, in the cold winter air, with snow already covering my shoes, with my scarf wrapped around me, I realize something.

        Hastily I turn around and start scanning my eyes for a curly-haired teenage boy.

        But he’s nowhere to be seen.

        “Logan!” I yell, not caring whether the other people look at me like I am a madman. Some people turn around at my cry, but none of them is Logan. Almost wheezing I make my way through a small crowd at the bus stop, desperately looking for the curly-haired boy with the gorgeously green eyes.

        After about fifteen minutes of searching I let out a defeated cry and plump down on a wooden bench. I hardly feel the melted snow dripping through my jeans, probably leaving an embarrasing stain afterwards. But none of that matters now that tears are streaming down my cheeks once again and there’s no one to soothe me and tell me it’s going to be okay and hold me in their arms - protecting me from the scary outside world.

        Because I forgot to ask Logan his number.