I Don't

2

Jessica.

James Summers had bitten the dust.

Jessica chuckled as she lifted her slender arm, eyes trained on an expensive gold watch, courtesy of the corpse himself. "Congratulations, what a beautiful ceremony!"

She couldn't help herself, she had to show off, had to get to her feet and clap until the palms of her hands stung. She bathed in the shower that fell through her mother's lashes. James always knew how to make a girl cry, whether of sadness or happiness he didn't care. Jessica was sure, though, she didn't care much either.

She never cared about the men her mother brought in and out of her life. She saw them as means to and end, mostly to a climax. Besides, who wouldn't want an upgraded Emilia? Every last one of them she got the chance to screw told her "You're better." "You're tighter." "Oh, Jen, you're sweeter than Emi. I love you." And they didn't have to know her name, they just had to play her game.

Truly, Jessica felt as though Emilia didn't even know her name. She plucked it from a most popular list, not caring enough to spare her a middle. But, she guessed that's what fatherless sixteen year old whores do when they give birth. Slap a name on an infant and take it home to be raised by someone else.

Someone better.

Ten years ago, fourteen years old, Jessica lost the only mother she ever loved. Her grandmother, a woman who understood her dislike for her own egg donor. She hated Emilia more than anyone, always picked with her. Jessica was grateful she got to witness it before she passed, even more grateful that she was blessed with more of her features than Emilia's. She was washed out, like a 2000's teen movie character; over-lined lips, stringy bleached hair, and rolls popping from her tank like a can of Pillsbury biscuits.

Grandmother didn't want that for Jess.

"Don't eat too much sugar, Jessie, or you'll grow large. Your mother used to be wide as a semi, but once I cut out all of her sweets she slimmed nicely."

"Cover up, Jessie, or you'll make the boys believe you're easy."

"What does that mean?" Jess would ask, her tiny legs dangling from a stool.

"It means don't open your legs too wide or boys won't respect you. No one will."

Jessica didn't like that piece of advice.

But, what could she do, her mother was out doing exactly that.

Jessica knew her grandmother didn't care for her mother, barely even cared for her. She wanted to live vicariously through them both, seeing as her life was quite meaningless. But, life was a million times worse for Jess without her, so maybe it wasn't as meaningless as she believed.

Jessica barely saw Emilia after that, always left her alone in their apartment as she went out and sucked off strangers in Taco Bell bathrooms. She didn't have a mother anymore, she had a skanky, drunk, roommate who she hated more and more as the days went by.

Jessica was no longer her grandmother's delicate flower; she was a cold hearted bitch set out to find her mother's heart and obliterate every last speck.

By the time Emilia wanted to be a mother, Jessica was already gone. Eighteen years old, pregnant by her mom's boyfriend, living in her best-friends basement. What could mommy do now? Jessica was about to be a mother herself, she tried to think that she could raise it, but she knew better. She didn't want, nor could she afford, a child right now.

She gave birth six months later to a healthy baby boy and gave him to a family that couldn't have their own. They named him Jace and offered to send pictures every year, but Jessica wanted him to be happy with them. She wanted him to grow up without her family ruining his. Her mother never found out and never would, but Jessica was proud of herself. She believed that she did what was right, that she did better than Emilia.

She knows he's OK.

Jessica watched as Emilia stared at James, his cold eyes still staring back at her. She wondered, hoped, that her heart was melting inside her chest. Her lips lifted as Emilia's eyes watered James like a canister of water moistening the soil of the earth.

But, Jessica's smile fell as Thomas wrapped his arms around Emilia, a smile on his face. Her hand pressed against the swarms in her stomach as his eyes found hers. She creased her brows as her eyes darted between the two still living, the two still smiling. Emilia's eyes slowly lifted to meet Jessica's, the smile still spread wide.

Bullshit, she thought.

She balled her hands into fists, swearing as they stung. She shook her head and took a deep breath as she tried to calm the fire that flared in her veins. Potassium tablets weren't cheap. She didn't go through the trouble of poisoning James just so her mother would drop one tear and bust out a smile.

She wanted her, needed her, to cry and beg for him back. She needed her to beg for forgiveness, beg for mercy, God, anyone to bring her love back. But, she didn't.

And James Summers lying dead at his own wedding no longer brought the young girl any satisfaction.