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" SEPARATION ANXIETY "
" the end of the day, i'm helpless - can you keep me close, can you love me most? "
_
ADULT AU !
as eddie took out the keys to the apartment he shared with richie, he already had an idea of how he was going to be welcomed to the household.
ever since a certain evil clown had been defeated, the losers had decided to turn their lives around now that they had each other for support. richie and eddie, of course, got together for they knew it was long overdue.
and richie was desperately trying to put on a brave face, to convince everyone (including himself) that he was okay. but eddie wasn't stupid, he knew him like the back of his hand after all. he knew that sometimes he wasn't okay.
because whenever he or richie left the apartment, richie couldn't help but feel his chest tighten with anxiety. suddently he found himself dreading the moments when eddie had to go to work, because that meant not being with him. and for some reason, that felt weirdly unsettling to him.
it basically meant that richie could only be completely fine and at ease whenever eddie was around. otherwise, his mind would be clouded by negative thought as if a tiny voice in his head lived to remind him that an essencial reason for his happiness was missing.
richie tried to hide it to the best of his advantage but sometimes it was impossible. he just missed his boyfriend too much.
on this particular occasion, the losers had planned a fun night out at the movies but richie (reluctantly) had to count himself out from the plan because he had some material he needed to finish. so he was left alone in the house.
he managed to get work done, it wasn't an entirely wasted evening. but at regular intervals, he'd stop and think of eddie before shaking his head slightly and getting back to work while biting his nails off.
with a little sigh, eddie opened the front door with the keys. once he stepped inside, he put the keys in their little key bowl and closed the door. "rich, i'm home." he spoke up, knowing that he'd be awake.
he heard a little gasp coming from their shared room before he was met with richie's lanky figure running towards him and engulfing him in a tight hug, burrying his face on the crook of eddie's neck.
eddie hugged him back, running his hands up and down his back. he could feel him taking deep breaths to calm himself so he pressed a couple kisses to richie's shoulder. "you okay?" he asked quietly.
richie hummed, rubbing eddie's waist soothingly and not at all ready to let go of the love of his life. "how was the movie?" richie asked.
eddie shrugged. "it was okay." he simply said, wanting to focus on richie and not the night out. "i love you." he murmured against the shell of richie's ear.
"i love you too, eds." richie answered almost immediately, snaking one hand under eddie's t-shirt to feel his skin under his fingers. "come to bed with me?" he whispered, pulling away to press his forehead against eddie's.
"try and stop me." eddie smiled, leaving a quick peck on richie's lips. they both headed to the bedroom, hand in hand, to get ready for bed. "so, are we gonna talk about this or not?" eddie asked once they were both under the covers.
richie frowned. "about what?"
eddie gave him a look. a look that meant that he knew that richie was full of shit and that he knew exactly what he was talking about. "richie, how dumb do you think i am? i know what's wrong with you." he paused, in case richie wanted to say something. when he didn't (choosing to look away), eddie started talking again. "it's called separation anxiety."
richie sighed in defeat. "i know, eds." he replied. "i looked it up a couple weeks ago because it was starting to be a pain in the ass." he chuckled dryly before laying down, facing the ceiling. eddie leaned to the side so he could face him. "i read a lot of babies have it with their parents. tell me that's not the lamest thing you've ever heard in your life." he groaned, burrying his face in the pillow so he wouldn't have to look at eddie.
"stop it, it's not lame." eddie said, scooting closer to his boyfriend as he tangled his fingers in his hair. "you've had a traumatic experience, we both have. you don't just... come out of that untouched. it's okay." he murmured, kissing the top of richie's head. "you just gotta give it time, it's perfectly normal for you to feel like this."
richie huffed, taking out his head from the pillow. "so i'm just gonna have to feel like this every day until it magically goes away? sounds like a shitty plan to me." he said. "eds," he ran his fingers through his dark hair. "every time i hear you say 'see you tonight' when you leave in the morning, i feel like i'm about to have a panic attack. it literally feels like someone's using my lungs as a damn punching bag." eddie noticed his eyes getting more watery with every word he spoke. "and boy, you should see me at six pm. i literally count the minutes for you to come home because i know that at eight pm sharp you'll be crossing that fucking door." he made a hand motion in the direction of the front door. "i just... god eds, i feel so helpless. it sucks." he choked out those two last words before finally allowing himself to cry.
eddie clicked his tongue, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's body, pressing him again his chest. richie returned the embrace, clinging onto eddie for dear life. eddie ran his fingers through richie's hair pressing kiss after kiss on the top of his head.
"baby. baby look at me." eddie cupped richie's damp cheeks with his hands. "you are the best thing that's ever happened to me, alright?" richie sniffled at the words. "i am so in love with you, it's insane." he smiled. "wherever i go, i'm always gonna come back to you in the end. you know why?" he asked, gently wiping richie's tears away with his thumbs.
richie shook his head slowly. "beats me, spaghetti man." he joked.
eddie shook his head. "because... i legitimately can't imagine living a life without you in it." he pressed the tip of his nose against the tip of richie's. "heck, i don't even know how i managed to live twenty seven years without you. it's beyond me, i swear to god." he chuckled, making richie smile. "so whenever you miss me too much, i'm just one phone call away. whenever you need me, i'm there." he placed a kiss on both of richie's cheeks and then a longer one on his lips.
richie hummed contently against his boyfriend's mouth. "god i love you..." richie murmured, pressing his lips on eddie's neck while leaving kiss after kiss. "you make me so happy, what the actual fuck." he said, making eddie giggle.
richie knew it would take him time to be completely okay. but as long as eddie was there with him, very little things could go wrong.
_
at first i was gonna have eddie be the one with separation anxiety but i decided on richie in the end because vulnerable richie is my weakness what can i say
