Lonely world, Lost girl

Lost little girl

Imagine this, a young girl lost, lost in a world of her own imagination, of all the beautiful things she could think of. Imagine butterflies flying around her as she dreams, all different colours to light her way. Lately, her life lacked colour, she needed to dream. So, that's what she did, every night. She dreamt of all the places she could go, she dreamt of the colour, the lights, the beautiful people that are all unique in their own way. She needed to dream of these things to keep her going, to give her hope in her dark world. Her life may not have been great, and she may have not known what she wanted yet, but that didn't mean she couldn't dream of a better life, of something that could give her hope.

Eight years old, scared and alone. She was lost, she didn't exactly know why she was meant to live this life. She wanted purpose, meaning or an explanation. She couldn't understand why she was put here just to experience this type of pain. Was it a test? A test on how much pain one person can go through if it was it was sick. This girl had an anger inside of her, this fire, rage that she couldn't explain. She needed a release, she needed something to keep it from getting out of control. That fire was to always be kept under control, but it burned bright and strong.

Eight years of age, not having a clue yet about the world, wanting to be carefree. She couldn't, she had to be strong, she had to be good. Not one slip up, not one problem. How could she do it? She didn't know how but she did it. She sat in her room listening to the bursting sounds of hatred. They fought most nights, why? She didn't quite know. They did love each other but things happened, things this little girl could not understand. Most nights she cried as she listened and other times she witnessed it. She tried everything in her power to try and stop it, but she was only little, the two people she loved the most were shouting with so much rage. She may not have understood it, but she didn't need to, to know that this isn't love, this was anger and hatred because of love.

They say that love can make people so happy, but it could also destroy the world, she had only heard about love and read about it inside books. She thought love was beautiful, how it was described in the books she read, it danced around her mind as she thought about it. She was so confused by it. But she knew this was the kind of love that would destroy her little family.

In the times she would cry in her room, it wasn't because of the arguing, it was because she thought of all the times, they were happy. All the times they had had together as a family. She became angry about how this could happen, what was happening to her little world. The world that she loved so dearly.

Her world falling apart, losing her friends and shutting the world off. She stopped so many things as she sank deeper and deeper into her depression. The darkness consumed every happy dream, every happy memory she had. They would now make her cry when they use to make her so happy. For years this happened, she turned to dark thoughts and bad habits. She stopped going to school, she barely ate, and she rarely spoke. What was she to do?

This little girl felt as though her world was crashing down on her and she had no way out. How was she meant to do this alone? Her depression got worse like the whole world had turned black. Her colours had faded and her dreams became little reminders of the things she had lost. The colours that once danced around her had turned to black dark figures that mocked her in the night. She stayed up late at night thinking, staring and wishing. She used to dream and now she wishes. She's now sat with her thoughts late at night wishing she could just sleep, that things weren't so bad.