When the Stars Align

Chapter Ten

Sirius noticed that the way in which Remus had been acting for the majority of the day was abnormal for his friend. He seemed jittery, afraid to speak at all one moment and then speaking too much the next; he snapped at his friends every time he opened his mouth.

Sirius knew what this meant. Remus wasn’t irritated; he was just afraid. This happened every month during the full moon.

He saw his friend sitting up in a tree in the courtyard, reading a book, as he always did when he was trying to calm his nerves. Sirius could see that it wasn’t working; he could tell by the way in which he turned his head at least once every minute, checking to see if someone was coming to attack him, as if he was already a wolf.

Sirius felt badly for him. He had to deal with this not only every month, but every day. As much as he tried to hide it, he was always counting down the days until the next full moon. Sirius saw the calendar under Remus’ pillow, crossing off each day as he went to sleep. He had once suggested that perhaps that wasn’t the right thought to put in his head right before sleeping, but Remus had accosted him, saying that he couldn’t think of something else anyhow. That had hurt, seeing as Remus was all that Sirius thought about prior to falling asleep.

He walked across the courtyard and swung up into the tree, making Remus flinch, dropping his book to the ground below.

“Sorry,” Sirius said, blushing slightly, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Remus wouldn’t look at him directly, instead staring towards the ground. He had always been afraid to sow his friends his vulnerability. In that way, the two were very similar.

He spoke, his voice almost at a whisper. “What do you want, Sirius?”

Sirius knew that Remus didn’t mean to be so harsh with him, or anyone else for that matter, but it still slighted him. “I was just wondering if you wanted company.”

Remus didn’t say anything, now looking in the direction of his face, but never meeting his eyes.

The dark-haired boy sighed, “I know that you feel like you’re a danger to me, and to the rest of your friends, but you don’t have to be alone. I want to help.”

“You can’t help me. I don’t know if I can control myself, you’ll get hurt, Sirius,” Remus said sadly.

Sirius hung his head down for a moment before looking up again and saying, “I know.”

Now Remus met his eyes, “You’re serious, you actually want to help me, even know that I could kill you?”

“Of course, M-…Remus, what would I be good for if I’m not even a good friend?” He had to be careful about Remus’ nickname when the events of its’ origin were so close.

“Then I don’t deserve you as a friend. Sirius, I can’t ask you to do this, it’s a suicide mission.”

Sirius knew that it very well might be, but it didn’t change his mind. “Maybe it is, but I want to Remus. I want to do everything I can.”

“Sirius-“

“Please…”

Remus didn’t respond for a while, thinking about his friend’s decision to help him even when the risk outweighed the benefit. “I guess I can’t stop you, can I?”

“No, you can’t,” Sirius said, a smile on his face. If this didn’t show Remus how much he meant to him, nothing would. “Just tell me where to be, when, and I’ll come prepared.”

“Come to the Shrieking Shack around dinner. It’s too risky to sneak out after curfew,” Remus said.

Sirius nodded, “I’ve got to go to the library now, but I’ll see you then. I know it’s not easy to relax in your condition, but try to, Remus. You’ll be fine. I’ll make sure everything goes okay.”