Now alone with the kids, Joyce has to deal with the consequences of what happened on that fateful 4th of July night. But how can she, when the only person she wants to talk with is no longer here?
A set of letters that Joyce writes to Hopper as a wa...
We found it. We found our new house. Last week, I had the day off on Friday so we woke up at 5AM and, half an hour later, we were on our way out of the state to visit some houses. Over the past couple of weeks, dinner has been spent looking at a map of the United States and at books about the different states that we thought could be our next home, trying to find the perfect next place to live in, or at least one that is better than Hawkins.
It was a long process. We considered many towns in various different states around Indiana but there was always something that at least one of us didn't particularly like and, wanting to make this as easy as possible for the kids, I told them we'd continue looking until we found something we all liked. Looking back, saying that wasn't the brightest idea because it didn't take long for them to start coming up with random things they didn't like things just so we couldn't reach a consensus.
When I realized what they were doing, I was mad. At that moment, I wanted to find the farthest place I could and move there, no questions asked. I was mad at them for making this harder than it had to be... I was mad that they couldn't seem to comprehend that I was just trying to do what I thought was best for them. I know they don't understand... hell, sometimes I don't understand, but I just want to keep them safe and give them the happiest life I possibly can and I don't think I can do that here... not when you're not around anymore.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'm being selfish... if I'm putting my pain and heartbreak above everything else, above their well-being. I know it won't be easy for them to leave the only place they've ever called home and the only people they've ever called friends. I know it'll be hard to move to another town, start going to another school and make new friends, especially for Will and El. Kids can be incredibly cruel at that age, I know that from experience.
Every night I lie in bed and make mental lists of all the pros and cons of leaving this town. I'm pretty sure I've considered every possible scenario at this point, from a smooth adaptation to the new life to being haunted by our ghosts wherever we go and not being able to ever adapt completely to the different surroundings and people. But then again, the worst-case scenario in a town hours away from here seems much better than the best one here, doesn't it?
After a little over a week, I was starting to feel desperate. I mean, I know these things take a while but I just wanted to find a place we all liked so we could start taking care of what needs to be taken care of as soon as possible. After all, these processes take a while and I just wanted to get this over with. But I had no idea where I wanted to go. All I knew, was that I wanted a small house we could afford, in a town that had nice neighborhoods, good high schools for the kids and that was bigger than Hawkins but smaller than a city. I knew that, in a town with a bigger population, perhaps one close to one of the state capitals, people wouldn't constantly be in each other's businesses and gossip wouldn't spread like wildfire, as opposed to what happens around here.
After a lot of research, we eventually settled on the state: Missouri, and after that, it was just a matter of finding a nice place close to St. Louis. After telling us about the two people that were interested in our house, Gary put us in contact with a real estate agent he knew over there and we scheduled a meeting. He started by showing us a couple houses in the capital but the deposits for those were incredibly high and even though I've been saving as much money as I can, I couldn't afford the cheapest, so I told him to keep going. After that, he showed us houses in Florissant and St. Charles and, eventually, a couple more in a small city in the suburbs, roughly 25 minutes away from St. Louis, called Chesterfield. Even though the city was slightly bigger than what I had in mind, I liked it.
We saw some houses near the center but we all agreed it was too busy for our liking. Upon hearing this, Rick, our agent, said knew the perfect place for us and showed us a two-story cabin, a bit farther from the center and, therefore from the busy neighborhoods, than the properties he'd previously shown us but not too isolated, as there were a couple of farms and other cabins close by. The house wasn't perfect and it definitely needed some work, nothing too expensive or urgent, but that wasn't all that bad because it made it much more affordable.
On our drive back to Hawkins, the kids and I discussed all the houses we'd seen, the strong and the weak points of each of them and, to my surprise, there were only a few things we disagreed on. What they all agreed on and was, perhaps, the one thing they didn't like about any of the houses we'd seen, was the 4 and a half-hour drive that separated them from their friends but they agreed that it could be much worse and their worries seemed to fly out of the window when I told them that if they weren't too busy with school, they could visit their friends as often as they wanted.
This past week was spent talking about the houses, trying to decide which one we wanted. A couple of days ago, I said the cabin had been my favorite and El agreed and said, with a sad smile, that it reminded her of your cabin, only slightly bigger, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she was right. The similarities were obvious and I can't help but wonder if maybe that was why I liked it so much... because unconsciously, it reminded me of you.
After a long talk at the kitchen table last night, we agreed that the cabin would be a good place to start over so today, I called Rick first thing in the morning to tell him we wanted it. I know some people would say the decision was rushed... it probably was, I can't argue with that, but I need to get out of this place. I feel like I'm drowning here. But you don't drown by falling into the water... you drown by staying there.
I'm sorry, Hop. I know how you felt about us leaving but I like to think that, you'd understand why I'm doing this now... why I can't stay in this place anymore. I wish things were different and I could stay, I really do... but they aren't I need to get away. I need to get away from all the memories and the pain they cause me. I know it won't be easy for the kids but believe me when I say it won't be easy for me either... I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I mean, this is a huge change and I'm terrified. But we all need a fresh start sometimes and I feel like it's time we get ours. I guess we're just going to have to take one step at a time and see where this goes. I hope that wherever you are, you can see us and help us through this journey.
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A/N Hey guys! I hope you liked this chapter!! I know nothing much happened (I know the emotional ones are much more interesting) but I think this kind of chapter is also important for you to know what Joyce is up to and how things happened. Also can we talk about the danona content we got last Sunday at the SAG awards? Because I'm still not over that and honestly I doubt I ever will🥺😂 AND we've been getting so much Winona content. Like literally WHAT IS HAPPENING? I love it😍 Anyways, thanks for reading. Don't forget to vote and send me some feedback, if possible. I love knowing what you guys think of the story, it makes my day. Love you all and see you next week Xx
