I'm still new to this website, so if i have mistakes, or if you would like to give me any tips, then feel free to do so in comments. This is my first story/rant/whatever. I'm calling it a free write because I am making this up as I go, talking about anything I want, Freely. So, todays topic, is standing up for yourself.
I have heard this phrase for my entire life. People always tell me I should stand up for myself, that I shouldn't let people push me around, to have a sense of pride, etc. So, if your anything like me, maybe people have told you this too, and if not, just shut up and read.
Firstly, I personally hate it when people tell me what to do sometimes. Its really annoying. Although, there are times when it is better for people to tell me to do things. However, when it comes to the way I act, or talk, or whatever, then don't tell me what to do. I hate it. So when somebody tells me to stand up for myself, I get angry, and I try not to show it, but sometimes it doesn't work. Anyways...
People tell me to stand up for myself and don't get pushed around all the time. I want to know why. Why are you telling me this ? Am I "uncool" or am I "mentally unstable?" Am I do dumb to figure this out on my own ? Do you think I like being pushed around or called names ? Honestly, if I wanted to stand up for myself, I would have done it a while ago. Fact is, to me, theres no point.
You see, I'm not the "coolest" or most "popular" guy in school. I don't wear the top brand name $100 000 clothes, I'm not that great at any sports, and I don't really have any talents. I kep my marks up, but don't really care about my looks. I call these factors. Factors which make me a victim to become pushed around. I always get pushed around. In the halls...at hockey games...even in my family. I feel like a tackling dummy sometimes. I don't care what other people think of me. I don't care whether I'm gay, dumb, nerdy, stupid, whatever. To me, your opinion doesn't matter anymore. To me, your the type of person that is in THAT group.
THAT group is a group of people who step on other people to get what they want. They are people who have never worked for anything they got, they are people who are just plain mean. Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect. No way, I've made my mistakes in the past...I've pushed people out of the way.But theres one difference between me, and someone in THAT group. I actaully regretted it.
The people who push me, they don't regret anything. They feel nothing. All they know is popularity, sports, and looks. It sounds like movies. The popular guy is always the jerk and the loner is always some hot person that turns out to be cool in the end. Well, like people say, life isn't a movie. I'm not going to just turn into some random cool kid because of some miracle that will never happen.
So, now that I KNOW why, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why i don't stand up.
There. is. no. point.
Lowlife people from THAT group don't even deserve the time that it would take for me to stand up for myself. They're just jerks, and no matter what I say, they won't listen. Just like teachers. Teachers always tell you that theye there for you, and they can help you, but if they realy cared, they would do something about it when they see it. But they dont. Niether will your friends. If your getting pushed, they will push you to, or just get out of the way. They won't stand up for you.
So honestly, if I am not even worth being stood up for by other people, why should I standup for myself ?
I don't stand up for myself, because I have jsut reached a point where i just don't care. People can say and do what they want to me, but it doesn't matter. They call me loser one day, but in ten years from now, that ame person will be calling me boss. They push me around in the halls, but one day I'll push him around on the ice (I play hockey). People who beat on other people only do it to make themselves feel something. Like I said before, people in THAT group don't feel anything. But when they are beating on others, calling them names, then they feel like a King, like a God. They think they're amazing. I hate it, but I sill don't care.
Maybe it's because I have a low self esteem (as my friend said) or maybe its because I don't care. You can push me, beat me, and make fun of me all you want. In the end, I will come out the better man. I will stand up for myself when I think I need to. One day I might snap, but at least it's better than doing nothing...
Like I said, I'm not perfect. I don't know everything. If there is one mistake I regret most in my life, its not standing up for myself. More importantly, its not standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves.
So you fuckers reading this right now.
Stand the fuck up.
And help the person beside you.
Stand the fuck up. For you, and for everyone else.
Show those people you won't be beaten.
Thats all I want to say for now.
Leave a comment and vote, or don't, I don't give a fuck.
Tell me what you want me to write about next, or tell me your thought about this little Free Write.
PEACEE.
