I Know Who I Am Now

What now?

Rey felt a pang of guilt as they bypassed Bens door and slipped through her own.

Rey went and sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes on her friends. Rose spoke first. "Rey we need to talk. We saw you take Poe, I presume he's here somewhere?". Rey nodded but she didn't speak. Clearly unsettled by Rey's lack of response Rose went on "You don't have to do this just because you're here, this isn't first order tactics anymore. It's ok to tell Ben that we do things differently....". Rey stood up suddenly and Rose took a step back, "It was me who wanted him brought back here and me who wanted him questioned. Not Ben. Poe has to pay for what he did.". Rose and Finn looked at each other, their eyes wide with surprise and then Finn stepped forwards, "Rey this isn't you. I agree that Poe needs to pay but this isn't you". Rey's hands balled into fists at her side "He was planning on killing Ben, I looked inside his mind and saw it. He was going to lure him to your base and kill him". Rose stepped forwards again then, "Are you sure?". Rey nodded as she began pacing, "Why am I the only one that thinks that this could work? This was working before Leia...". Finn took Rey's arm as she began to cry, "Rey this is working. We just need to know that you're ok, that we're ok too". Rose touched Rey's arm then, "And that Bens ok". Rey looked at Rose, her brows drawn together, "I think you need to talk to Ben" Rey said wiping her eyes.

Ben was lying down thinking of his mother when a knock at the door startled him. He sat up just as Rey came in. He smiled, relieved to see her but then his smile faded as Rose, Finn and Chewbacca joined her. Rey didn't walk over and kiss him as she usually did but instead she sat at the other end of the bed.

Rose cleared her throat, "We uh, we wanted to talk to you, about Leia, Uh your mother, about Poe, everything really." Bens eyes traveled to Rey and then back to Rose. "Firstly I don't know if you know our names or not" Rose said, shooting Finn a look when he rolled his eyes, "I'm Rose and this is Finn. I know that you're Ben. Ok, where do I start? Ok. This was never going to be easy, us coming together, I mean we all have our reasons for hating the first order..." Ben glanced at Finn as he scoffed noisily, their eyes meeting for a moment before Rose went on, "and I'm sure you had your reasons for fighting against us.  We had hoped under Leias leadership that we would be able to overcome all of that, and we were trying, but Poe....".  Ben stood then, clearing his throat. "Poe can't be trusted anymore.  With regards to the remaining resistance members who we left at your base, we will need to decide how to proceed with them".  Finn stepped forwards, "Poes a good guy, look he made a mistake....if we could just.....". Ben exploded then "His mistake cost my mother her life!  Don't you try to tell me that he's a good guy!".  Rose swallowed hard, dropping her eyes but Finn remained as he was, his eyes cold, "I remember you.  I remember the real you.  The torturer, the murderer, the bully..." Finn hisssed.  Rey, who had been standing quietly joined the conversation then, springing from where she sat, her voice raising to a crescendo, "Don't you speak to him like that!  He has treated me with more love and respect than anyone else in all my years of life.  I stand by Ben Solo with or without you!". 

For a moment no one spoke.  Finn looked crushed by Rey's words but he simply nodded and left, Rose hurrying after him.  Chewbacca stopped at the doorway, mewing something soft and apologetic and then he left. 

Rey felt tears fill her eyes and suddenly Bens arms were closing around her, pulling her to his chest.  Was this it?  Was Ben the only true friend she had?  Maybe, just maybe she thought, he was all she needed.