an indulgent decision

kelly, I'm ready

I run out of joshie's cottage like a leopard. I see Marigold on her bike as I'm sprinting down the sidewalk. We are moving side by side. "Hey bitch. How u doin?" She questions. I growl at her, and push her off the bike. She falls and scrapes her gorgeous face on the ground. It sounds like a meat grinder which reminds me to grind on kelly once I get there. I hop on the bike and ride to Kelly's house. I'm going so fast. I see Marmeal, Kelly's cousin, driving. She waves out the window, but I take out my trusty revolver and shoot her in the face. He car stops, I open the door , and throw her dead body out. Disgusting. I am driving down Liposuction street as fast as a lemur swinging through the jungle trees. I go into Kelly's drive way, and start running to the door. I fling the door open, and Kelly and his mom are sitting there on the sofa. "Kenny darling you've only just met this girl and you are going to marry-" She sees me in the doorway, breathing heavily like a crazed gorilla. Kelly smiles and goes up to hug me. Kelly looks at his ma and says, "this is my darling lady." His mom scoffs and says, "I dint even know this slut's name. What's your name?" I hiss and throw my sex toy at her face. I try to drag Kelly into the bedroom. Kelly's mom looks revolted. She examines the sex toy with her hands. They are velvety blue, just like Kelly's. She says, "what are you two doing? Are you going to..." I furrow my brow, confused. Then I realize. "Oh yes I am ready for kelly. I didn't realize you were so protective. Would you like to join? You seem very experienced. I think you could show us around the subject..." She puts her hand on her heart, scoffs, and raises her eyebrows. "Pardon!?" She says. My cheeks flush. I understand. "Oh my gosh ma'am I didn't realize. Your a virgin no need to be ashamed. I could show you the ropes I mean I'm very good. I don't know what kelly can do yet because this will be our first time. But I can assure you it will be extravagant." I assure her. She vomits into her handbag. She wipes her mouth and clears her throat. "I am not a virgin. You idiotic girl, kenny is my child whom I gave birth to from sex! And if you think I would have a threesome with my son and his disgusting girlfriend, YOU ARE REPULSIVE!" I take this all in. I am deeply offended. All I can say is, "his name is kelly." She throws her vomit filled handbag at the ground in front of me and kelly, splashing her stomach acid all over my fancy new crocs. She runs out of the house, and drives away in her mercedes.  That woman doesn't know how to have fun I shrug, look at kelly, we both grin, and dart into the bedroom.

~~~7 hours later~~~

Kelly walks out of the bedroom. He has bite marks all over his cheeks, and his nose hair is gone. I smile and remember our fun night. "Kelly that was... I mean... wow." I grin. He giggles like a hyena. "I know. Wow." He tickles me and then we watch despicable me. I say, "that was coincidental!" "What?" He asks. "Well, when we were doing it I couldn't stop thinking of Gru to enjoy the fun. He is such a turn on. That long nose is so... perfect." He raises his eyebrows. "Woah. When we were doing it, I had to think of the little girl Agnes! And also the adoption lady, Ms. Haddy!" We hi five eachother for both loving despicable me so much. He makes out with me, and eventually sucks out one of my molars. I slap him in the arm playfully, get some super glue, and stick my tooth back on. Kelly was so rough. WOWZA. it was great. I admit to him, "I also thought about my new pets Quirtalt,  Snout and Tammy." Kelly giggles ,"wow beastiality and pedophiles!  We are a great bunch! I also thought of Joshie and Lady Antelope and Marigold Glass!" I giggle, "woah I thought of Marigold's Mexican maid Sennapita,  and your mom!" Kelly grinned and said, "I know my mom is such a gorgeous babe. And also..." we looked at each other and said at the same time, "SAUSAGES!" I scream at the top of my lungs with delight! "You've converted me into a sausage lover!" He admits. I am in love with this butter napkin. He is so charming and we both get turned on by despicable me. It was a blast and nothing compares to it except for me ripping out joshie's eyebrows. Kelly gives me a megapack of Italian sausages from dollar tree, and I hit the road

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One week later of joshie and Kelly and despicable me filled fun, I am dining at McDonald's with Marigold. He scab on her cheek is healing well, and it looks so tasty I just want to tear it off and eat it. Then I feel sick. I run to the bathroom and vomit. I head back our and as I walk back to my table, I hear a twelve year old girl saying to her friends, "wow it was so rough with me and Bill last week. I felt sick and I was vomiting, so I took a pregnancy test and I am pregnant!" He friends all hug her. She is so lucky that her being sick means she is pregnant. I head back to the table and finish my food. About half an hour later when I pull into my driveway, I think about the girl being pregnant. She is so lucky. I wish I could be sick and vomit so then I might be able to be pregnant. The I realize a reason as to why I vomited. I ate bad mcdonalds food. No no McDonald's always had amazing food. I'm so dumb. "WAIT A SECOND THIS MEANS THAT I MUST BE-!" I yell out loud, but I am interrupted by vomiting. I drive onto the street and speed all the way to Rite Aid to get a pregnancy test. I get home, pee on the stick, and wait. Then I wonder, who is the dad? Oh no this is bad I don't know who the daddy is. I loon back at the stick a few minutes later. It's a little plus sign. I forget what that means so u look at the instructions that I accidentally dropped into the toilet. It was soggy, but I could just make out that a plus sign mean I'm preggers. This satisfying week just got a little more eventful.

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Who do you think is the dad, kelly or Joshie? Also comment some unisex baby names. Things

are going to be weirder.