DISCONTINUED - The Corona Fic

It Begins

I woke up today, feeling lonely and depressed. My parents kicked me out, so I'm living with an interesting individual that I am living with, but I hate it here.

Feeling lonely and bored one night, I decided to try out a new dating app called Colony. However, I didn't want my roommates to know about it, so I snuck off to the bathroom to secretly download and set it up on my phone.

As I created my profile, I carefully chose my photos and wrote a witty poem to attract potential matches. I couldn't wait to start swiping and see who I would match with. But as I scrolled through the app, I couldn't help but feel a bit anxious. What if no one liked me? What if I didn't find anyone interesting?

I had a moment of self-doubt until I remembered that I am a beautiful person, and anyone who doesn't swipe right on me is missing out on a whole lot of awesome.

And to my surprise, I actually started to enjoy myself on the app. I had some interesting conversations about cheese and even made plans to meet up with a few matches that I knew I would end up flaking out on.

I began swiping humans left and right After a while, I began talking to this guy called Winnie from China. He was so attractive that I fell in love straight away. He convinced me to run away to China and marry him.

Being delusional I believed him, I therefore had to sell many feet pictures to buy tickets to fly to Wuhan, China.