A. A.

I

Accidental Addiction, Killjoy

Year 2020

F/E/B/R/U/A/R/Y

I've been feeling the anniversary effect like a fire in my stomach. It's been just over a year since Kap left the ranks. He's a ghost nowadays. I know he's still floating around me somehow. Maybe the Dracs got to him and he's after me because I'm the last fleeting memory he has left. I was probably the strongest anyways. With his trigger finger, he was probably promoted to s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w status quickly. It's sad to think about, but Angel keeps me on my toes. She knows me better than I know myself these days.

The droning of Dr. Death Defying's voice is coming from her room again. I swear she never turns that thing off. She's listening to it to hold on to some kind of hope that there will be a better tomorrow, that things will go back to the way they used to be, but I can't really see it. Things will never go back to the way they were before the war. After Dr. Frankenstein was taken from her and Kap was taken from me... is there ever really a way back from this?

I understand, though, why she does it. If that were to happen right in front of me, I don't know if I would be able to handle it. At least Kap left me and I didn't have to watch him die.

Maybe that would have been better.

Death Defying has gotten to his daily list of dosings, those passed on to be nothing more than servants to BL/ind. Or the stars. I always half expect her to turn it off, most of the time she does. She couldn't stand hearing his name over the air. I hear it go quieter but not off as he says it, Kaptain rainbow ray gun has been ghosted today, on the run from a couple of-

It clicks off and footsteps are coming, I'm keeping my door closed tonight. My ears are ringing and I can barely hear the knocking. There's no way that she knows that I heard her, but I know, somehow she does. She always feels that pang of something in her stomach as I do with her.

I never thought that I would actually hear his name, and I never thought that it would feel this freeing. Is that wrong of me? Is it wrong to be glad that you no longer have to worry about the one person finding you that you never want to see again?

Never me, He would always say, that stupid grin plastered on his face, I'm too smart for some Dracs. He swore it up and down every time he did something dangerous. Silly boy, look where that's gotten you now.

Angel is still knocking, but I still have no plans on answering. I'm okay, Angel. I promise this time.