𝘞 𝘏 𝘌 𝘕 𝘙 𝘈 𝘐 𝘕 𝘍 𝘈 𝘓 𝘓 𝘚

thread i sent when you didn't reply.

ive been feelin weird.

like an ok weird which ig comes
with healing n acceptance.

its like a fresh breath weird that u
take after u know ur done crying in
the middle of a party u know?

there r lights glowing on ur face as u
wipe ur final tears away n u take in
that breath n u nod and stand up n
go dance but u still feel that sadness
in ur chest when ur moving.

i feel like that sigh moment.

that moment of specificity that can only b
subsided by pure joy against my weird,
empty melancholy that im feelin for no reason
i can make an excuse for.

i dont feel bad but i think its got smth to do
with the weather.

times relative n smth that humans made
to make living and the sighs at parties easier.

but time is a value.

i kind of hug it in a way i dont hug
many other things.

it's always close to me n never rlly
leaves n maybe im emotional bc in
two hours the time ive known for so long
will b swapped with a new friend.

time is changin n im changin with it
n i think thats y im in the spaces in which im
sighin in a booth blue n purple lights glowin
n heels tappin on the floor all around me,
pink lemonade in wine glass like im someone
worth tellin a fairytale to.

i think the more i stop n realise that 
idk who i m n idk who the time im holdin
hands with as the ball drops n the confetti
bursts n the sparklin cider opens the more i
fear the time ive spent.

i think i want it back in a way.

idk what "it" is but its a beautiful
thought.

n time is relative but if thats the case
y does it hurt sm to let go of?

maybe time is a vessel.

n memories n life n living n heartbreak
r all the things it carries.

maybe my time will swap n i will b
the same but older n wiser n my hands
will b bigger.

n maybe it will feel less like im losin another
friend when another decade passes n more like
im meetin a new one.

srry for blowin up ur phone.

gn.

— a thread i sent when u didn't reply.