Untie the Knot

Chapter 2

The next three weeks pass in a blur and soon, too soon for my taste, I find myself in the middle of the noisiest wedding reception of the century.

A lot had to be improvised, but with Mum's track record, she had everyone lined up pretty quickly. And in some short-lived moment of enthusiasm, I even allowed my mother to buy me a dress for the occasion. Needless to say that by the end of the ceremony, I'm already cursing myself for having said yes to this piece of emerald chiffon which makes me look like an upturned tree.

The worst thing is that it is accompanied by matching high heels. I never wear high heels because I believe they were put on this earth as an instrument of torture. So here I am, pitying myself in my fancy dress and ridiculous updo, hoping for this evening to be over quickly. Unfortunately, as the daughter of the bride, I have nowhere to hide, and so I suffer through speeches and hugs and overenthusiastic small-talk that make me wish my dress came with one of those cute little fans, so I could hide my embarrassment behind it.

My mother and her new spouse Richard, who's at least five years her junior, are going wild on the dance floor while Lucy and Dave are trying to shove their tongues down each other's throats right where everyone can see them.

I turn away in disgust before I say something improper and take refuge on an illustrious chaise longue right beside the heavily laden buffet tables, where I'm able to observe everything without putting myself on the spot. I park my margarita at the edge of the table right beside me, so I can keep an eye on it.

Sinking into the fluffy upholstery with a sigh, I kick off my shoes and wiggle my toes in relief at the newfound freedom. I really hope this is the last time my mum gets married. I couldn't stand another one of those torture sessions. My eyes go briefly to the couples dancing and when I spot Lucy and Dave, I'm reminded that there is yet another wedding for me to endure.

I massage my little toe, which has become numb with all the unfamiliar pressure. I really need to make sure to convince Lucy of going for a casual wedding. No constricting dresses and no high heels. But knowing Dave and his stuck-up family, chances that I'd get my wish granted are probably close to null. I bunch up my dress, so I can fold my legs to sit cross-legged. I don't care if it's elegant or not, my knees are already thanking me for giving them a break.

I fiddle with the elastic band of my corsage to pull it from my wrist, since it has been bothering me already for hours. I wish they would abolish this stupid tradition of tying flowers to a rubber band, where they eventually wilt and look sad due to the lack of water. I love flowers, but I'd rather have them alive and with their roots buried deep inside the earth.

"Stupid corsage," I mutter under my breath when I can't get it off my wrist because it has gotten tangled with the lacy ribbons adorning it.

I slide my finger through the rubber band to loosen it, but it suddenly snaps, and the whole thing shoots through the air like a floral bullet towards a group of people standing on the opposite side of the buffet. Oh, shit!

"Watch out!" I cry before I clasp my hand to my mouth in horror and silently pray for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

There's too much noise, loud music being played, and everyone talking and laughing. My warning cry goes unheard, and my misguided missile hits one of the guys square on the back of his head.

Crap, crap! Can't there be one wedding where I don't make a fool out of myself?

The guy freezes, and the people beside him interrupt their conversation to look at him with narrowed eyes. Maybe they'll just pretend nothing had happened. They seem to look snobbish enough to be experts at meaningless small-talk. I nibble at my fingernails while I assess my unintentional target.