From My Eyes

Falling in Slow motion

When i was about four- five years old I hit my head.  I was playing out side, my parents sleeping on the couch in our trailer, my sister who is only six years older than me, making her around ten or eleven at the time, was supposed to be watching my while she did the dishes. she had the front door open so that she could see me. Every thing was fine, i was just jumping back and forth from our concrete steps to a big plastic tub that i had turned up side down. 

The thing is though, I don't really remember falling, I don't remember the pain from when I hit the stairs either. I just remember laying there, looking into my house, and everything fading into darkness as some one ran towards me. 

Then I'm walking thought this field, its so bright outside, but it isn't too bright, as if we were surrounded in white light. I say we because i was walking with someone. Holding their hand as i skipped along. I never really saw who the person was, but i trusted them a lot. they were taking me to get my head fixed, and of course as a little kid I was very excited to tell everyone that I needed a band aid for my head. 

And just like that, I was back, but i had lost about a week or two of memory. My brain hadn't recorded my memory's for that long. I was sitting on the school bus, scratching at the scab on the back of my head, thinking about how i was told not to do that, despite not remembering anything form thous two weeks. 

As I got older, my parents wouldn't believe me when I would talk to them about it, they said that it never happened, that i never hit my head. Then when i showed them the scare when i was twelve, my mom would say it wasn't as bad as i thought it was, so they never needed to take me to the hospital. But in recent years, they've come to except that it did happen and the reason they don't remember it, was because they were coming down from drugs at the time and just didn't realize that it happened. 

I was talking to my mom a couple months ago about it, pressing her on it more, and she still didn't admit to remembering it, she claimed that she wasn't even there, or that my father and sister never told her it happened. which is a complete contradiction to what my sister said. that my parents were furious with here, blaming her for the accident. 

The one thing my did say she remembered though, was that she and my father noticed that i changed around that time, I went from talkative and happy, to quiet and shy. They assumed I just was having a hard time with starting school. Neither one of them making the connection until now that it may have been a result of a head injury.

~o~

Every time i tell this story i get a mixture of responses, some think that the experience i had while unconscious was a result of a hallucination. Other thing that I went to limbo, or summer land, or even heaven. I honestly don't know what to think, all i know is that its hard to know what really did happen. 

What do you think?