Letters From Another (Bughead)

Chapter Thirty

A/n Fetch your crying towels 

Betty POV

"Isn't it though?! I have a question.  If by some miracle I took you back, what would happen?  Would you break it off with Toni or just keep seeing her behind my back?"

He rolled his eyes.  He fucking rolled his eyes. 

How did I not see what a douchebag he was before?  I could have saved myself from a lot of heartbreak.

"I would break up with her.  You matter more to me."

I scoffed at him.

"My fucking hero." I said.

His eyes got dark and he made that face he has when he's about to do something reckless.

He rubbed his face with his right hand then yelled "DAMMIT BETTY, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

"I WANT YOU TO LEAVE US ALONE."

You supposedly let out what you've been feeling in the heat of the moment.  Had I just done that? Or was I just hormonal and angry?

"Really Betty?  Are you sure that's what you want and not that snake whose house you've moved into?"

"Veronica?" I scoffed.  "This has nothing to do with her.  This is between you and me."

"If you really feel this way then tell me right now that you want to end it."

"I-I-"

I couldn't say it.  Why couldn't I say it?  Isn't this what I want?  For us to be over?

I had to say it.  I had to rid myself of this toxicity he brought with him wherever he went.

I looked at the ground and said as quiet as I could, "I want to end it."

Once I built up the courage, I looked at him and saw he was now the one facing the ground.

"I didn't expect that." He said not moving a muscle.

"Me neither." I confessed.

"What are we going to do now?" he rightfully questioned.

"I don't know Jug."

He started shaking his head.

"No.  There is no fucking way I'm letting this happen."

"Jughead I don't want us to be anywhere near you anymore."

"Us?  What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"  He started getting louder, "BETTY YOU CAN'T JUST THREATEN TO TAKE MY DAUGHTER AWAY FROM ME."

"THEY'RE NOT YOUR KIDS JUGHEAD."

Shit.  Now what am I going to say?

I decided to steer the conversation back to Juliet before he caught what I said.

"JULIET BARELY KNOWS WHO YOU ARE." I continued.

"I'M HER FATHER..."

I cut him off, "BESIDES SHARING YOUR DNA, YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING THAT EVEN RESEMBLS BEING HER FATHER.  YOU'VE NEVER TAKEN CARE OF HER, TRIED TO BOND WITH HER.  YOU LEAVE HER HANGING CONSTANTLY AND I'M THE ONE WHO ENDS UP GATHERING ALL THE PIECES.  HELL ARCHIE IS MORE OF A FATHER TO HER THEN YOU."

"IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO ARCHIE, DOESN'T IT?" He was fuming.  "MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED HIM INSTEAD."

"Jughead, don't say that."

I couldn't handle that comment right now.  I know I've made mistakes, I know he's made them too, but without him I wouldn't have my daughter.  That is just too much to pile onto everything else.  Imagining a world without my child was too dark.  I couldn't take that dark thought.

"Betty stop."  I couldn't move.  It was like I was stuck staring at the pebbles that were roughly scattered though out the parking lot.  "BETTY, FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP."

He grabbed my hand and pulled my nails apart from my palm.

I felt like I was shocked back into reality.

I looked up at Jughead, who was still holding my hand, then down to my palms that were now covered in blood.

I couldn't take it anymore.  I started sobbing which wound up with my on my knees covered in my own tears.

It took me a moment to realize Jughead had joined me on the ground.  He had wrapped me up in his arms and was rubbing the back of my head.  

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but it was comforting.  The way he held me brought back memories of when he had done it as a teenager.  Comforted me, wrapped me in his arms and made me feel loved.  I'd like to say our childhood classified as 'better times', but our lives were never easy.

I just leaned into his chest while trying to get my sobs under control.

"It's going to be ok Betts."  His voice was so soft.  I doubt anyone else would be able to hear him.

I didn't mean to but instinct took over.

I wrapped my hands around his torso and buried my head into his chest.

We just sat in the middle of the lot while the dark sky turned into a colorful sunrise.

I didn't want to separate from him.  I wanted to stay in this moment where everything felt safe. Where everything felt like it was going to be ok. I knew I couldn't.

The sun would be up soon and the real world would set in.  The world that Jughead had torn apart.  The only world that had hint of hope for us was gone.

I forced myself to break apart from him.

"I'm sorry Jug... I can't..."

He wiped away a tear that had fallen to my cheek.

"I know..."  He was clearly trying to cover up how much he was hurting.  "Know I'll always be here for you, no matter how long it takes."

He gave my forehead a quick kiss then helped me to my feet.

I saw him pick something up then dust it off a bit.

When he extended his arm to me I saw it was my jacket.

I bit down on my cheeks then reached out to take it.

"Thanks." I said flatly.

He just gave me a sad smile.

We started walking back to the diner in such silence you could hear a pin drop.

When we got to the door he opened it for me.  For a minute it felt like old times, but sadly that minute was up.  It would only exist in our own heads.  No one around us would understand what it felt like being with him again, even just for a brief embrace.