Peppa Pig and Duolingo: A Deadly Duo

The Legacy of Peppa

    Stevie Sheep led the clan of concerned citizens on the long trek up the steep hill. Thud. Stomp. Thud. They climbed and climbed up to the house that the feared Peppa Pig once called home. Where Peppa disappeared to was a mystery, but one distressed member of her family remained behind.
    Everyone heard the rumors of what happened to Peppa, that she left town after a major dispute with Susie Sheep. Everyone knows that it was a violent fight from Peppa's end, but no one really knows the full story.
Regardless of their lack of knowledge, they all had a slight intuition that Peppa's mysterious disappearance possibly had something to do with the murder of Sandra Sheep. So they continued their long climb to Daddy Pig's house, for he was all-knowing. Daddy Pig might have been the single being who really knew the full story of the legendary feud between Peppa Pig and Susie Sheep.
     They finally reached Daddy Pig's house, now all they had to do was knock, simply reach out a hoof, or a paw, and rap gently on the door, but they were nervous. None of the animals wanted to volunteer themselves, so as the leader of the group Stevie Sheep was nominated to knock on the door. They all felt queasy being at the old residence of Peppa Pig. It was almost as if you could feel the aura of Peppa's evilness surrounding the house. Stevie Sheep knocked, once. He knocked twice. The patter of footsteps was heard approaching the door from inside the house and the door was slowly pushed open. The group of animals looked up, and there he stood, the all-knowing 14 foot tall Daddy Pig.
      His body, old with wisdom and rather plump, towered over the animals. Daddy pig scanned the clan of animals with his eyes, "I've been expecting you."
He gave a small wave and started walking down the hallway. Stevie Sheep took a deep breath and followed. The rest of the animals nervously trailed behind. Daddy pig lead them through the old house until they reached a room, lit only by the light of hundreds of candles.
      No one wanted to enter the room. But they knew they had to. Into the small room they went. The small crowd waited around Daddy pig, nervous, but eager to hear what the omniscient pig knew about the disappearing children.
They all stood and waited. And waited. And waited. Until Daddy pig walked his arms around the a drunk octopus and said, "HONKOINKGRUNT,"
Well that was more of a noise than a word, but it was something. Progress. Well, more of an old pig hacking and grunting away than progress, but it was something.
    At last he opened his mouth, "I suppose you are all here to hear what happened between Peppa and Susie Sheep years ago." When they all nodded he continued, "Well I guess it all started when Peppa was trying to learn how to whistle. Peppa couldn't do it, and not for lack of trying. She tried many times, but again and again she failed."
      Mrs.Rabbit Jr. rudely interrupted by saying, "Wait so this is all over Peppa not being able to whistle?"
     Daddy Pig merely glared at her and continued, "She was in such despair that she called her then best friend Susie to see if she had the ability to whistle. When Susie whistled with ease, Peppa's despair grew larger. She acted as if it did not bother her, but deep inside the despair had turned into pain, then the pain turned to anger, and that angry fury burned inside of her for years. Until one day, out of the blue, it all exploded. All of the anger she had been holding came out onto Susie Sheep. She began screaming at Susie, accusing her of stealing her ability to whistle on top of hundreds of dreadful false accusations. At last Susie had enough. She said if Peppa was going to get this upset over something as dumb as not being able to whistle, she didn't want to be friends anymore. Now Peppa was feeling misunderstood, lacking the apology she had been searching for from Susie, friendless, and still upset about not being able to whistle, it became too much for her and she gave into the angry fury that burned inside of her and became a force of evil seeking revenge on anyone who had what she had wanted for so long, the ability to whistle."
Stevie Sheep eyed Daddy Pig, "So if we want this to stop we just have to find Peppa and teach her how to whistle?"
"Well, no. She is convinced everyone has stolen her ability to whistle and thinks she needs to kill them to regain it. If you try to teach her, she will kill you. If she sees you whistling, she will kill you. If sees you, she will kill you."
All of the animals' faces immediately drained of color. A few fainted.
    "AND THAT'S NOT THE WORST OF IT!" cried Daddy Pig, now yelling for dramatic flair. "She has now teamed up with another killer. Another animal searching for prey. Together they will be unstoppable. Who is this animal you ask? Well, it's a green owl like no other, a green owl with a passion for languages. Especially Spanish. So, WHO IS THIS BIRD? This bird is the dreaded, terrible, horrific DUOLINGO BIRD!"
    With that Daddy Pig ascended into though the ceiling on a rising platform, clearly placed there specifically for this occasion.
    The animals left just stared at the ceiling in horror and disbelief, wondering what they should do next, and if it would be possible to do anything.