For the Love of... Hockey?

Chapter 13.

Hanson's POV:

It's not like I was a virgin, because I wasn't. I had lost that at 15, to my ex, after a year of dating. But, it still didn't change the fact that this was bad. Very bad.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. 

Jesse and I weren't supposed to have sex. At least, not yet. I had only met him a week ago. He was my brother's teammate. Nothing about this situation was justifiable in any way.

Fear settled into my stomach when I realized that he probably - literally - wasn't going to talk to me ever again. If kissing him made him act the way he has been during school, I truly didn't want to find out what it was going to be like now.

My heart would never be able to handle it.

Fuck.

~~~~~~~

Jesse's POV:

The sound of Hanson shuffling woke me up.

I glanced over at her naked, beautiful body and gasped. I'd forgotten that we fucked. 

She quickly met my eyes as a look of pain flashed across her face. 

Did she regret what we did? Did she not feel the same way?  Was she just desperate last night? What would Cyrus say if he ever found out? Or better yet, Chase? 

Not knowing what to say in such an awkward situation, I sat up and walked to the shower. "Get ready, we're leaving in 15."

I started the shower and stepped in. I can't believe I let my urges take over. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I let her get to me in ways I had never let anyone before. She had an inexplicable grip on me that I couldn't shake off. I was slowly allowing myself to let me get distracted, opening up the possibility of risking my concentration in hockey.

No more. It couldn't happen anymore.

She was no good for me.

More importantly, I was no good for her.

~~~~~~

Hanson's POV:

The ride to school was too awkward to describe. No words were spoken, no interactions were made. I got off his bike, handed him the helmet without looking him in the eye, and went straight to Chemistry.

All with restraining the tears... until I sat down next to Jonah. 

Then the tears flooded like a dam breaking for the first time.

He immediately took me into his arms and led me out of the room, with few people noticing, thank God. He guided me into a janitors closet and softly shut the door, waiting patiently for my sobs to subside.

Once I gained control of my emotions, I told him. I told him everything. Jonah never spoke until I had finished and began crying a new set of tears.

"You really care about him, don't you?" He asked as he pulled me into him.

"He's killing me slowly, Jonah." I squeaked. "I don't know what to do."

Jonah sighed. "I hate to say this, Han, but I really don't know what you can do either."

"I love him so much." I whispered as I wiped away the tears with my sleeve. I pulled myself away from Jonah and punched the shelf nearest to me. "Fuck me, right?" I said, in a fit of rage. "I let a dumbass hockey player get to me and now I'm left fucked - literally - and abandoned. He wouldn't even talk to me this morning, Jonah. After all we've been through, he said nothing. Absolutely nothing. Am I just supposed to act like nothing ever happened, like I don't have feelings for him? Because I can't do that!"

I was about to continue on with my rant when Jonah grabbed me by the shoulders. "Hanson, are you listening to yourself right now? You sound pathetic. I know Jesse. Jesse doesn't talk to girls, he isn't seen with them. That's why every girl here wants him so bad. He's unattainable. You're the only girl who he has ever looked at twice." He said. "So listen to me when I tell you that Jesse cares about you just as much as you do him. He's an awkward dude and hasn't been in a serious relationship with anyone other than hockey. You need to give him some credit and realize that he's scared. Literally scared."

Shutting my mouth, I noted that Jonah was right. Or at least, hoped he was. Everything he had said made perfect sense and left a glimmer of hope in the pit of my stomach.

Now, it was just time to confront Jesse. 

~~~~~~

Jesse walked into the arena, still consumed by his own demons. The more he replayed the events of the past 24 hours, the more he realized how wrong he was. He should've never invited Hanson over to his apartment, it wasn't his fault she was upset. 

He shouldn't have ran after her in a desperate attempt to fix what was wrong - but he cared so much. He knew couldn't stop himself.

But more than that - He knew he had to set things straight with Hanson. Jesse wasn't good for her, nor would he ever be. He couldn't give her everything she needed and she deserved the world.

How was he going to let her down?

Better yet, how was he going to make himself let her down?

~~~~~~

A/N: 

Hey lovies!!!!

I'm sosososososo sorry that I haven't been updating. College has been a bitch and so hectic. But I hope that this makes up for it. Thank you so unbelievably much for all the adorable and sweet comments. I appreciate them beyond words.

They make me feel good. (:

I also decided to write in 3rd person at the very end... did you like that better or worse? Please send me feed back and let me me know!!

Lots of love,

- G.