YEAR TWO: Sorry for Letting You Down

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Lan Wangji counted the minutes since A-Yuan had left. He precisely remembered the time taken from Jingshi to the kitchen was ten minutes. Yet thirty minutes were gone, and the boy still not coming back.

He knew the avoidance couldn't last forever because when the sun set, dinner would then be served. Given his responsible nature, the boy would never skip out on his duty. Lan Wangji firmly believed that. 

"I need to know what happened to him." Lan Wangji murmured to himself as he stared at the closed door without taking his eyes off it.

Creak...

The noise produced by the opened door echoed throughout the silent room. A-Yuan walked in, carrying a tray of the steaming hot medicine. 

It seems newly brewed. He has told the truth, Lan Wangji thought to himself as he watched the tiny figure approaching . 

Pretending as if he was being heedful with the medicine, A-Yuan constantly kept his head low even when he reached the bed. But Lan Wangji knew better.

Clearly, the boy was hiding something.

"Are you not going to feed me?" he asked.

"I-I will." A-Yuan stammered. But it wasn't due to nervousness or anything alike. He was somehow choking on his words. Climbing the bed to sit at his usual position, he fed Lan Wangji the medicine with hand movements that were unusually plodding. 

It was when it came to the last spoon did Lan Wangji realized the reason behind it. As the spoon reached his lips, this time, the boy's sleeve got pull back, exposing the back of his wrist. But instead of the usual white-skinned, the area was scalded red. Before the boy could retrieve his hand back to his side, Lan Wangji grabbed his arm gently at the uninjured spot below and took a closer look.

"What happened to your wrist, A-Yuan?" One hand held the boy's wrist and another pointed at the foreign sight, he asked the boy gently.

"It's nothing." He tried to take back his hand but Lan Wangji refused to let go. 

As he realized his arm couldn't fight its way out, he lowered his head to avoid the eye contact. Nonetheless, the diversion wasn't fast enough as Lan Wangji caught a glimpse of sadness, hurt, painful and remorse.

Lan Wangji sighed before patting the boy's hand, carefully avoiding the burn area. "Lift your head, A-Yuan."

The boy shook his head.

"A-Yuan. Didn't you tell me that I am someone you can trust?" When he received a nod as an answer, Lan Wangji smiled satisfactorily for a split second before continued, "Then, can you look at me? It's an act of disrespect when you don't look someone in the eyes while speaking."

Hesitatingly, the boy used the sleeve of his free hand to dab his eyes and lifted his face. Yet fresh tears were still visibly seen in those sad eyes.

"Why are you crying?" Lan Wangji asked softly. 

"I...didn't."

"A-Yuan, lying is forbidden in Cloud Recess. Even a white lie. If you're residing inside Cloud Recess, you must obey the rules."

"Then, what if I am not?" The boy blinked as he asked back. 

It was one shocking question. "What do you mean?" 

"Many people said I don't belong here." Tears started to well up in his eyes again.

Lan Wangji looked at the boy and felt his own heart breaking into pieces.

I don't belong here.

Someone used to say this too. And now, he was gone.

No, I won't let it happen again. I won't, Lan Wangji made a commitment inside his head. He had no intention of letting the same mistake repeated twice. 

"Who are those people?"

The boy shook his head. "I don't know. But they don white robes just like you and Zewu-Jun. They also have that things on their heads."

The ribbon. Those people belong to the Lan Sect.

"Then, what caused this scar?"

The boy stayed silence as if he was hesitating to answer.

"Tell me, A-Yuan. Did they cause you this too?"

"N-not...r-really."

"Tell me the whole story."

Admitting defeat, A-Yuan started talking. "Many people have been saying that I am nothing more than a parasite, living off from Cloud Recess. They doubt my origin, and doubt your act of bringing me in. There are kids my age who really dislike me. They often find joy in pushing me to the ground." He choked on his words. "Today, when they shoved me, the medicine was spilled on my wrist."

Lan Wangji listened with heavy heart. He had no idea A-Yuan had been going through such hard times. No wonder why he never went out to play and confined himself inside Jingshi.

Now that he knew why, he wouldn't let this matter proceeded any further. If he couldn't protect his Wei Ying back then, he at least should be able to protect what Wei Ying held dear. And this time, he wasn't planning on failing. 

I need to talk to brother about this. Lan Wangji thought while looking into the boy's eyes with affection and remorse simultaneously.


A sob  -heard by no one besides from the weeping person himself- was made by Wei Wuxian who was having his arms around A-Yuan's and Lan Wagnji's necks from behind. He was bear hugging the two despite knowing very well they couldn't sense it. 

Notwithstanding the fact that it wasn't his fault, he uttered. "Sorry. I am terribly sorry." 

A single tear escaped his tearful eyes and dropped to the sheet. But instead of creating a stain, the droplet just vaporized into thin air. 

𝔗𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔢 𝔖𝔦𝔵𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔜𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔰 (WangXian)Where stories live. Discover now