you lie on the couch bored and terribly sexually starved as you try to get into the most recent episode of "keeping up with the kardashians".
"KEH-M. OH-EM-JEEEEEEE YOU ARE SU-UHHH-CH A SLUT" , you roll your eyes at the tv and are a bit startled when the doorbell rings.
you hop up from the couch and go to the front door. to your surprise your boyfriend, alex, is standing on your doorstep in nothing but his target name tag, a brown trench coat, a football helment, and a faux fur scarf.
"Yah hallo yah," he says in a terrible Swedish accent.
"How are yu today yah,"
"I'm well, how are you?"
"Veddy good yah,"
"Would you care to come inside?"
He looks nervously at the inkblot of lines he has written on his hand
"Yah"
He comes inside and takes off the helment and you two start violently making out.
"do you have a cheese grater babe?" he asks in his normal voice.
"A cheese grater..? what for?"
"My chlamydia is flairing up, my balls are on fire. i have to shred them"
you smile and hand him the cheese grater.
blood and semen fly everywhere, all over the furniture and everything else in your home.
suddenly, a giant goose falls out of alex's anus and lays two new testicles to replace his shredded chlamydia ridden ones.
he attatches his new testicles with craft glue and you guys then give the goose a growing potion and fly off into the sunset aka the target parking lot
