Tides of Fate | ᴍᴀʀᴀᴜᴅᴇʀs ᴇʀᴀ

25 | Light in the Darkness

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-- CARINA'S FLAT

Carina woke in her own bed sometime in the middle of the night. She felt her breath close up as she jerked awake from a restless sleep haunted by soulless corpses and a dark lake. It took her a few panicked breaths before she could calm herself enough to remember where she was. But as the full scope of what happened in the past day set in, she didn't know if reality was any better. 

Sirius had left earlier that night. Despite her offers to transfigure him a spare bed, he'd insisted he had a perfectly good one at his own flat. She'd nodded with understanding. Sirius was always loud and proud until he felt vulnerable. Then he tended to retreat into himself to process. It was part of the reason Carina always offered to fly with him when he was struggling with something- when they were in the air and on the broom, they could spend time together and enjoy the rush of the air without feeling obligated to talk. 

"I'll come around in the morning with breakfast," Carina told him as he was about to leave. 

Sirius looked ready to protest, but a stern glance from Carina shut him right up. They both realized the offer for what it was- not a chance to eat breakfast, but rather to check in on Sirius in a while. 

After the subdued wizard left for his own flat, Carina offered to share her bed with Lily. But the worried redhead was still too anxious to leave James. She'd given Carina a tired but grateful smile as Carina draped another blanket over her. The witch had curled herself up in the chair beside the couch.   

 When Carina crept out of her room in the darkness that had settled over her flat, she found that Lily was in the exact same position she'd left her. But James still seemed distressed, even in his sleep. As she pattered closer, she could see the sheen of sweat on his face and neck and the slight twitch of his eyes and jaw. Carefully placing her hand on his forehead, she grew increasingly worried when his skin was burning to the touch. Immediately coming back with a cold compress, she began dabbing away the beads of sweat with great care. James relaxed slightly under the refreshing coolness of the wet cloth. 

Carina froze as he started awake, his hand flying to her wrist like an iron vise. As he peeled his eyes open, she could only stare back as she waited for him to realize where they were and who she was and release her hand. While his initial caution faded as he recognized her, he did not release her. His eyes softened as they studied hers, and she could not make herself avert her gaze even if she tried. Despite the lack of verbal words, they were communicating with more honesty than they had all year. His hazel eyes held a touch of fondness, a healthy dash of inquiry, but mostly a reflective sense of nostalgia. While her own initially reflected her worry, she could also feel the sentimentality of everything that had brought them to this moment and the people they were today. Finally, they dropped all the masks and were honest about the state of their friendship and the reasons for it. And with that honesty came a nostalgic understanding for what had been, what might have been, and what would be. 

With the smallest sigh breaking the silence between them, James gave her hand a parting squeeze before finally releasing it. The fondness hadn't gone away, and the worry hadn't gone away. But what might have been was no longer what would be, and they both knew that instinctively. It was simply too late, and their paths had diverged.     

 "How long have I been out?" James whispered gruffly as he sat up. 

"A few hours. You're running a temperature." 

"I feel fine," he shrugged off. 

James froze as he saw Lily folded uncomfortably in the chair beside them.