THE DAY YOU FUCKED ME UP
I kept a pocket for you in my heart in case you ever felt alone. You knew I always left the door ajar so you could sneak back in and take a rest in my bosom.
Never in these 255 days that we were friends have I wished to fuck you over but somehow you read my words all wrong. Everything that we thought was real was lost in translation.
10 January 2020:
You came over and my body was going cold.
You tried to kiss me but I pushed you away.
I wonder if this was part of your playbook, to hold on to me so tightly as you poured your heart out to me.
An occasional tear and a little snot to make it a little realistic.
You knew I would walk right into it.
Fucked up.
I wanted to ask you out on a proper date but you jumped to conclusions and by then I was so done.
Did I really draw the conclusion by myself Carter?
If you only had eyes for me, where were the polaroids we took? If you loved me, why was she the one your heart mourned for after a silly little fall? If you loved me, why was she the one going on dates with you and holding on to you so tight?
You painted me a picture and so I hung it on my wall.
You kept cutting me off, if you wanted me out why did you keep coming back? Were you just playing me?
The audacity to question me.
In the 255 days we knew each other, the times I cut you off lined these pages perfectly. The motivations for my disappearance were for your relationship.
After your relationship was in ashes, I was the eight digit that never failed to show up.
The only time I vanished was for myself.
I loved you but you were holding her.
Why would I sit in the dingy lit room, staring at the eggshell walls and the paint that was peeling off waiting for a man who was never going to come home?
My pages in my playbook is empty when it came to you Carter.
How dare you cry and question me when you knew in those 255 days I had never left you on read.
Chapter seventeen:
your truth are my lies,
and my truth are your lies,
we let the audience verify the authentic one.
YOU ARE READING
Friends with Benefits
Short StoryC A S U A L The only 6 letter word you ever destroyed for me. Down to the very bottom of my heart, you knew what we could be and you knew what my heart bore. Friends with benefits: it never worked out because we end up falling love and falling out...
