Book of Honesty

Part of Society, yet Believed to be Fantasy

Even though the longer name of LGBTQ+ has an A for Asexuals AKA aces, they are still less known and more discriminated. Why? Because people believe that Asexuals do not exist.

Now that does not sit well with any Asexuals OR Aromantics/ Aros, especially Minecraftkunoichi. An Acearo herself, she had been trying to spread awareness about this matter through a book she made called "What not to say to an Asexual". I recommend it to you all because it's quite informative!

Anyway, this also inspired me to ask her a few questions about her life as one. Let us delve into her life as one, shall we?

1. What does being asexual and aromantic mean to you?

To me asexuality is just not experiencing sexual feeling or attraction and aromantic is not feeling romantic feelings or attractions. Sorry if you wanted to hear something different, that's just what I think.

2. How did you know that you were asexual and aromantic? What led to the discovery?

I discovered it in highschool and came across the terms asexuality and aromantic on tumblr. I didn't think much at first, but I started thinking more about it and realized that I was aroace. 1. Because I never really saw anyone in a sexual way or really imagined myself ever having sex (of course that doesn't count for all asexuals) and 2. I've never really wanted to be in a romantic relationship. And even if there was someone that wanted a romantic relationship with me I somehow managed to turn it into a platonic relationship.

3. What is it like to be an aroace? How do you feel about it?

For me being aroace isn't really that different than being straight, though when I do tell people I'm aroace it does get annoying to have to explain exactly what those terms are since asexuals and aromantics are never really represented in the media. But other than that I think it's alright.

4. Does the media represent aroaces correctly? If so/not, why?

So far I've only seen asexuality and aromantic being mentioned in the media and 2 out of the 3 times I've seen it, they do seem to be correct. But on shows like House M.D. House says that a patient's asexuality was caused by a tumor in his brain and says that "everyone wants sex". And in the Archie comics Jughead is represented as Asexual, but they completely erased his asexuality in Riverdale even though the actor Cole Sprouse wanted him to be shown as asexual and show that representation. But in shows like Bojack horseman the main character Todd is Asexual and I personally think his asexuality is well represented and they did mention how even though aromantics don't necessarily experience romantic feelings or attractions, they can still be in relationships and get married.

In the show Sirens one of the characters is Asexual and she explains to one of the main characters how Asexuality and celibacy aren't the same thing and how her asexuality isn't just a phase. Even though I believe she covered the basic understanding of asexuality I think they could've gone a little more into detail about how she's shown as a sex repulsed asexual and not all asexuals are sex repulsed, meaning she never wants to have sex. Some are neutral, meaning they're okay with the idea of sex, but probably wouldn't have sex and some are sex positive, meaning they're okay with the idea of sex and would probably have sex.

5. Can you explain the sex repulsed, neutral and sex positive?

Sex repulsed means that they don't like the idea of sex and would never see themselves having sex. Sex neutral means they're okay with the idea of sex, but would probably never see themselves doing it. And Sex positive means they like the idea of sex and would have sex if they felt like it.

But if they're sex positive, doesn't it mean that they're not asexual?

No, just because asexuals don't experience sexual feelings or attractions, doesn't mean they can't have sex. Maybe they do it to say pleasure their partner or there may be times where they actually enjoy it. Though I am sex neutral so I don't really have much to say for those who are sex positive.

6. What does it feel like to be asexual and aromantic? In general I'm talking about the feelings you get with it. How does it feel internally? Like, do you feel the urges?

No I don't feel any urges. And for feelings like whenever I see someone who I think is really attractive I'll just think "wow, they look cool" and wish I knew them as a friend or maybe a platonic partner, but that's basically it.

7. How did your friends and family take it?

My friends have been very accepting. Most of the people in my friend group are LGBT so they have been supportive. I have had to explain my sexuality a few times, but once they understand then they are accepting.

Okay, so my brother seemed accepting and Idk how my dad reacted, and then there's my mom... she absolutely hated when she found out I was ace and it went worse when she found out I was aro. Technically I didn't even get to tell her I was asexual because my brother told her as a form of revenge because I told our mom he tracked mud into the kitchen (still haven't gotten over it.) And has even threatened to tell my other friends I haven't come out to yet once or twice. When she found out I liked a guy in one of my classes she told me that I wasn't ace because I thought a guy in my class was cute. Like, okay, I also think some pairs of shoes look cute, but you don't see me wanting to make out with them! She once yelled at me to the point of me crying and wanting to self harm myself ON my birthday because I mentioned to my brother that I was aromantic. She kept trying to tell me to "stop this asexual ****" because she thought I was "brainwashed" into being asexual by my trans friend. At one point she forced me to see a therapist to try and "fix" me or she would threaten to send me to a mental hospital (I did see a therapist who told me my mom was insane and that if she did sent me to a mental hospital for my sexuality they would laugh in her face). Now she is accepting of gays and bisexuals, but for everything else like trans and nonbinary for example she thinks they're mentally ill or doing it for attention. So yeah... I basically hid my sexuality from her for about 1 1/2 - 2 years of highschool and am still hiding my sexuality from her so that I don't get yelled at and end up wanting to jump out my 4th story window.

8. Do you think that aces/aros should be more accepted? If so, why?

Yes, I do. I have seen that both people who are and aren't LGBT not accept aces and aros, saying that we're "special snowflakes" or just faking it. I can see how they think that because only 1% of the population is ace or aro, but we're just as legitimate and real as someone who was gay or bi.

9. I found out about aces and aros through you, so I'm planning on adding them to my campaign wordstochangecampaign. What do you personally wish for the ace and aro community?

I personally wish that people would be more accepting of the ace and aro community because even if we don't experience the exact same problems and criticism of someone who would be gay or trans, we still experience problems and criticism so we all need to stick up for one another.

10. Would you support a campaign aiming to fight toxicity and discrimination? To spread equality?

Is that even a question? Of course!

Asexuals DO exist, like it or not. So I suggest that you accept it before you end up hurting someone. I really enjoyed this article, and so I hope this article taught you something!

19-02 to 21-02