Feeling Something

Chapter 5

Reader's POV:

You lightly tapped your fingers on your trembling leg, gripping the car door handle with your other hand, scared that you were going to throw up at the way your mum was driving. You silently stared out of the window, watching the rain gracefully slide down the glass. You imagined yourself as one of the raindrops, free from all the hate in the world, free from feeling anything, free from your mum, just.. free.

"I hope you're happy with yourself." Your mum mumbled underneath her breath. Her hand was gripping the steering wheel so tight, her knuckles had turned white and you were afraid that she would rip the steering wheel out with her strong grip.

You ignored her, eyes fixed on the outside world. Part of you wished she'd just crash the car, killing you both. She probably shouldn't even be driving, but alcohol didn't stop her. Regret lingered over you at your decision to leave with your mum instead of staying at the hospital with Dr Staple.

The other doctors had protested to you leaving, it was too soon, you already knew that but you lied telling them you felt fine, and that you made a mistake, you didn't really want to die, you were pretty convincing. Although, you highly doubted that Dr Staple was going to keep quiet about everything you told her. The doctors had no choice but to let you leave, because you were 18 they couldn't keep you there. They made you sign an AMA form, leaving 'against medical advice', your hand shook violently whilst you scribbled down your name, and you hoped that nobody noticed.

Now you sat in the car with your mum, holding back the vomit that circulated your stomach, whilst she verbally assaulted you, you knew it was coming, so you just tuned her out, as best you could.

"Next time, if you're going to try and kill yourself, fucking do it properly." She sneered, the car screeching as she turned into the driveway of your home. "Do us all a favour." She added under her breath. You wasn't sure if you were supposed to hear that part, but you did.

She switched off the ignition, exiting the car, the loud slam of the car door startling you slightly. She didn't bother waiting for you to get out of the car, just left you sitting there. You watched as her hand fumbled for her keys, unlocking the door and dropping the keys in the process, before she disappeared into the house.

You were confused as to why she left you sitting there. You could easily run off back to the hospital. You were obviously in no state to do that, which is probably why she didn't have to worry about you running off.

You sat in the car, comforted by the complete silence that enveloped you. Letting the tears, from all your mothers hateful words, finally cascade down your cheeks. You just sobbed and sobbed, years worth of tears flowing from your eye sockets.

♡ ♡ ♡

You lay in bed that night, your entire body shaking with fear. It was yet another one of them nights, the shouting, the screaming, the strong smell of vodka lingering with every word your mum yelled at you until you couldn't take it anymore, and you shouted back just as loud, earning yourself a harsh slap to the face.

A loud smash startled you, amplifying the fear that coursed through your body and you quickly sat up. You couldn't stay there any longer, you knew what was coming next. After your mum got bored, she'd come into your room and take her anger out on you. Like every other night.

Getting out of bed, trying to be as quiet as possible you grabbed a hoodie and a pair of jeans from your closet, slipping on your converse and grabbing a bag you shoved in extra clothes, your phone and purse, and just random bits you felt you couldn't leave behind.

All the adrenaline you were feeling at this precise moment made you tremble to the point you felt you might pass out, the room was spinning as though you were on a merry go round, and you quickly sat down on the edge of your bed trying to calm yourself down.

The smashing from downstairs only got louder, your mum was shouting rambling on about something, her voice gradually getting louder and more angrier.

You didn't dare to sneak downstairs in case she saw or heard you, but you had to get out now. The only other option was through the window. Great, you could barely stand without feeling like you were going to collapse and now you had to somehow climb out of the window without falling.

You grabbed your coat, throwing your backpack over your shoulder before sliding up the window and at that exact moment the loud scream of your name rang through the whole house, followed by loud footsteps coming up the stairs. You climbed out, almost immediately losing your footing, before you slid down the drainpipe and jumped, well it was more of an ungraceful fall, but you made it onto solid ground without breaking anything.

You ran as fast as you could until your shaky legs couldn't run anymore. You had no idea where you were supposed to go, and it was bloody freezing out. Putting your coat on, you wrapped it tightly around you, shoving your hands in the pockets. Your fingers twitched slightly as you felt something, and pulled out a piece of paper. Frowning, you opened it. It had a number on it with a note underneath.

~Here's my personal cell number, if you need anything at all, day or night, please call me. - Dr Ellie Staple~

You smiled down at the note, blinking away the tears that had now formed in your eyes, blurring your vision a little. She must have slipped the note into your pocket just before you left the hospital.

A part of you didn't want to call because it was late and you didn't want to be a bother. But you pulled out your phone and dialled her number nonetheless.

It rang a few times and you almost hung up when you thought she wasn't going to answer, but then the ringing stopped and she answered, that same soft voice she spoke to you with in the hospital.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's.. uhm.. y/n, I didn't know who else to call, and I found your note."

Tears started to stream down your face frantically and you quickly wiped at them with your sleeve, hoping that your trembling voice didn't give it away that you were crying.

"Is everything ok? You don't sound ok.."

Great. She knows I'm a crying mess right now.

"Uhm.. I-"

You stuttered, words just not wanting to leave your mouth. More tears flowed down your cheeks and a frustrated groan escaped your throat as you tried to wipe them away, but as soon as you wiped away the tears, they were quickly replaced by fresh ones.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? Talk to me.."

You let out a shaky breath, trying your best to compose yourself before you spoke again.

"My mum.. she was drunk and smashing up the place.. I was so scared, I had to leave."

"Text me where you are, I'll come pick you up."

You thought about protesting against her offer, she shouldn't have to leave her home for you, but you didn't just call her for nothing either, so you mumbled an; "Ok," and your hand trembled as you hung up, causing you to almost drop your phone. Your hands proceeded to shake as you typed out your location, and she replied a couple of seconds after you sent the message, with a simple; "Sit tight, I'm on my way."

—
Okay, here is chapter 5. I really hope you like it, and I really hope you're enjoying the story. I feel like my writing is getting worse.. is it? I dunno I'm just not entirely confident about it but please let me know your honest opinion. I do take criticism well, I promise haha!
~T ♡~