All I See Is His Eyes, For Forever

-1-

"Sincerely, your best... and... uh... Dearest Friend... Me."

Save. Print.

A small sigh escapes me. She's not gonna like it, but at least I got it done.

Instead of the sound of a printer on the other side of the room, a pop-up blares in my face.

[PRINTER 16852 OUT. SELECT NEW PRINTER] and a list of different numbers.

I tilt my head in slight annoyance and close google docs.

As I stand, I look towards the printer on the other end of the computer lab. Connor is standing over it, shaking it in anger. I didn't notice him in the lab with me, but we're the only people there. With a last punch to the screen, it goes from flickering to black. He grunts in frustrated confusion.

He steps back from it and sees me, his pupils smaller than they had been before. His eyes meeting mine made me jump.

"The printer's broken."

"Mhm," I nod and look away.

"Whatever, didn't come to print anything anyway," He shrugs coolly.

I'm almost thankful it hadn't worked. He might've seen the letter about Zoe. That I had addressed to myself. Yeah, honestly, thank goodness. I almost have time to acknowledge the bit of silence between us, but he cuts it off.

"So, what happened to your arm?" Connor nods to my cast.

"M-my arm. Yes. I, uh, fell out of a tree."

"'Fell out of a tree'? That's the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard-" He gets cut off by his own laughter.

While my face heats up, I know he's not saying it in a mean way. It was kind of like how Jared made fun of me, only softer and with more bad words. His gentle laugh with it made it sound nicer, too.

"It was a... a really, really big tree..." I pick at my cast.

"Whatever, Hansen," He lifts an eyebrow in amusement and steps closer, "Nobody's signed it though."

"Ah, yeah, I-"

"Can I?" He interrupts my stuttering, stepping even closer.

"You d-don't have to, Connor-"

"C'mon, do you have a pen or something?"

The blush on my face still hasn't left as I reach into my pocket and pull out my previously rejected sharpie marker. I hand it to him, fearing he would feel my sweaty hands. Instead, I notice his own hands are rather cold.

Connor grabs my bad arm. I can't feel his frigid hand through the cast, but the tug that brings me closer to him kind of hurt.

"Ah," I wince.

"Sorry," He apologizes, loosening his grip.

He haphazardly scribbles his name out in big, capital letters. He's being softer though, applying as little pressure as possible. The whole thing takes up the entire front of the cast.

A giggle leaves his mouth as he steps back, offering an apologetic look.

"Well, now we can both pretend we have friends," Connor shrugs as he hands back the sharpie.

"Do we ha..ve.... to..." I trail off without thinking.

I strain to get more words out, only managing a small 'nevermind.'

He raises an unimpressed eyebrow.

"That's a dumb way to ask to be friends," He states flatly and grabs my good arm.

He snatches back the sharpie and asks pointedly, "Got a phone, Hansen?"

Confused, I stutter, "Yes? I mean I have a phone because most people our age would have a phone- Unless you don't have a phone then sorry if I'm being insensitive-"

"You talk a lot."

"Sorry. I do... have a phone... but I don't use it very much. I use my email more."

"That's kinda nerdy, Evan."

He jots down his email address on my good arm, noticeably smaller and neater than his name on the opposite. The sharpie against my skin kind of stings. I couldn't care less.

I actually made a... kind of friend. Enough of an acquaintance that he's technically offering to talk to me more, even though he said I talk a lot.

Connor steps back and caps the marker, stopping my train of thought.

"I'm sorry about earlier," He says, handing it back, "I wasn't in a... 'good mood' or whatever."

"You were kind of high, right?" I asked without thinking.

His eyebrows furrow at me, and I fear I've just ruined everything about the last couple minutes.

"Sorry I just- n-noticed how your eyes- your pupils got kind of- um, big and-"

"Yeah. I was just seeing if you had a problem with it," His lip turned upward.

"I..." I paused to collect my thoughts. I noticed he was a lot more calm without being high, and he seemed so irritable earlier. But I'm not gonna try to change it, it's not my decision.

"I don't. You can do whatever you want. I guess. Is that cheesy? Ehh..." I fiddled with my cast as I mumbled off.

"Hm. Whatever the case, I'll still be a better influence on you than that asshole who talks to you all the time. Talk later, Ev."

Connor turns and walks out of the lab with a small wave of his hand in my direction. Getting called something that wasn't a derogatory term or a mean nickname was... really nice. I noticed through the window of the door he had gone in a direction I'm almost positive wasn't where his class was.

Zoe said her brother was insane. What I saw wasn't 'insane.'

I smile to myself. If that was 'insane,' I'd hate to see her version of 'normal.'

My laptop boots up again, and I open google docs.

Edit.

Delete, delete, delete.

Type, type, type.

Sincerely, Me.

Save.