All I See Is His Eyes, For Forever

-4-

We drive for a while. Music blares from the speakers, most of which I can't understand, either because it's too fast or the accent is so thick that each word sounds like it's spoken in cursive.

Once we passed the plant nursery, where I assumed he was taking me, I began to get kind of worried.

"Jared, where are we going...?"

He doesn't respond, nodding along to the fast paced music. I grunt and notice myself shaking. I pull out my phone and check my idle game. That and Youtube are the only apps I have manually downloaded. No new emails.

"Hey, turn off your phone, Hansen. Stop avoiding small talk," He drones and taps my phone's screen.

I pull it away from him, "You d-didn't answer me when I asked you a question!"

"I didn't hear you! It's a surprise!" The car turns left, into a shopping center.

There's a bunch of stores ranging in sizes, and a couple snack-restaurants. Where we're going becomes obvious as soon as I notice it.

Bath and Body Works.

"Jared, if this is about your weird bathbomb obsession-"

"I'm getting so many, man!" He interrupts me excitedly.

He opens the center console between us once we park, revealing a dozen or so wrapped bathbombs, varying in color. In his fucking car. Jared sifts through them, looking for something at the bottom.

He pulls out his wallet, grinning at me wildly. I can't help but smile back, he just seems so happy.

Ever since a couple of his friends dared him to bite into a bathbomb a couple months ago, Jared's been absolutely obsessed with them. He doesn't use them - or eat them... as far as I know - and just collects them.

He rushes out of the car, running over to my side and opening my door before I get a chance to.

"C'mon, c'mon, I'll get you a candle or something too," He pulls me out of the car like an overexcited child.

"Have you ever seen a p-pine scented bathbomb?"

"If I found one I wouldn't get it. I'm already surrounded by enough tree-smelling things when I go to your house, like hell I'm bringing it to my own."

I giggle in my usual, awkward way.

He pulls me across the uncrowded street, barely watching for cars. As I'm pushed into the fragrant store, I notice a sale on candles.

Jared walks past me eagerly, and I head to the large wall of medium-sized candles.

I pull them off the shelf for a sniff, one at a time. Some smelled really gross or just too strong, but the flowery scents seemed to be calling me.

After a minute, I settled on a stronger scent than what I'm used to. It wasn't a pine, though, so Jared won't be too displeased. There's a flower on the jar that I didn't recognize. I'll look it up later.

I catch his eye from across the store, and walk over with the candle in my hand. The scent was named 'Resented,' which sounds way meaner than it smells.

"Done? Okay I just need these two," Jared gestures to a pair of bathbombs -one red, the other a blue-green- and heads over to the counter.

As I set the candle next to the register, he notices the print.

"A flower smell?"

"H-hey, it's not, like, a tree smell or anything-"

"Must've taken all your willpower, huh?" Jared sarcastically remarks, paying the employee, who he seems familiar with.

We turn down the plastic bag and walk out of the store, loot in hand. Every couple seconds I take another whiff of the candle. I pull out my phone to look it up, inadvertently checking for any notifications about my email. Nothing but from the idle game. I should turn off notifications for that.

"Single Petalled purple flower, no visible stamen"

Search.

"Get off your phone, Evan," Jared drags me back across the street.

"I'm just checking something..." I scroll through the first result, a list of flower descriptions.

"You 'checking something' is gonna get you killed one day."

I let out a huff. None of the flowers on the list match what was on the candle. Time to check deeper. I read the label again. Nothing but the brand name and the word 'Resented' in large, curly letters.

After slumping into Jared's old car, my mind makes a small connection.

"Flowers that mean 'resentment'"

Search.

'No, no, no, n-'

My face lights up. A Petunia!

"Didja finally get a text back?" Jared notices.

"Huh? Text... Text back???" I question, confused.

He shoos my phone, drolling, "I saw you keep checking your notifications. And now you got all excited. Did your new boyfriend finally notice you?" He spit out the word 'boyfriend' like it was cursed.

"New... Huh?"

'"New boyfriend???"'

"I meant the shooter, dodo."

There's a second of silence as the gears in my slow-ass brain turn. Yes, I know he's talking about Connor, but why is he so angry?

"He has a name, Jared."

"Ohhhoho, so you knew I was referring to Connor???" His eyebrows raise, but it isn't in a teasing matter.

"Jared, I w-wasn't even talking to him I just found-" I stop myself. I don't want to cry.

He licks his lips, noticing my unease.

"Thank you f-for the candle," I mutter.

"You shouldn't be talking to him, Evan," Jared ignores my gratitude, "He's an asshole stoner who just wants to-"

He stops, his excuse being to check his blind spot, but he doesn't continue. I watch him. His eye catches mine and his cheeks redden.

"I dunno! Do something, sell drugs, buy drugs- make you do drugs?!" He shrugs, flustered.

'I don't care.'

But I'd never say that. I stay quiet instead, watching the lights on the cars around us blink.

"You want food...?" He changes the subject.

I nod and shift in my seat. Another sniff of the candle. Petunias mean 'resentment'? That seems so mean for such a pretty flower...

"Whaddaya want?" Jared asks. We're pulled up to the driveway of a Jack-in-the-Box.

"A b-big... uh... large order of their... um... curly fries. A sprite too, please? Small."

He orders for us once he drives up. The person in the building is handed his card. We get our food. I stay silent the whole time. Once we pull out onto the road again, I thank him.

"I'll pay you back once you drop me off..." I sift through the bag, causing a greasy aroma to spread through the car. I knew Jared wouldn't mind, his car is always really messy.

He steals a fry. I exhale through my nose, awkwardly laughing. As I always do.