All I See Is His Eyes, For Forever

-5-

We get to my house. Half the fries are gone from the both of us picking at them. I hop out of the car with the food and my candle. Jared gets to the door first, and unlocks it with his key.

He got that key when I was busy, he had taken my set and gotten it copied so he could come to my house whenever he wanted. He doesn't even knock anymore, just barges in as he likes. It isn't too bad, I guess, but it invades my privacy more than I'm okay with. But I'd never say that. Jared would find a way out of it. It's kind of hard for me to stay mad at him.

He drops himself onto my couch. I place the bag of food - without my fries - next to him, and head to my room.

"Hey, where you going?" Jared calls as he sees me walk off.

"I'm getting my wallet."

"Don't worry about the food."

"I also need to do my homework."

He purses his lips.

"Why do you always avoid meeeee...." He complains and looks away, feigning despair.

"I have homework, Jared," I raise an eyebrow to his performance.

"If you're just running off to talk with your new friend, I'll fight you."

"Home. Work."

He squints at me.

"Y'know what, maybe you should pay me back."

"Then let me get my wallet," I face away from him.

"I'm joking, acorn."

The nickname he gave me earlier today is sounding less like a tease and more like a pet name. I don't know which is worse.

"Can you, like, not call m-me that?"

"What, 'acorn?' I would think you would love to be associated with trees~" He makes a face at me.

"Y'know what," I say, putting my hands on my hips and mocking what he'd said, "Maybe I should go talk to Connor."

"Don't you dare," Jared drops his smile. His face looks like when you're stopping a dog from doing something they aren't supposed to. Like watching it guiltily get on the couch or cough up some grass.

"Let me get my homework done and my m-money and I'll be out in a bit. You can watch some-something out here until I'm done," I walk into my room, but I can still hear him.

"Bring your homework out here!"

I sigh. It's not like Connor's trying to contact me or anything, I still haven't gotten any notifications. Maybe when he said 'soon' he meant, like, tomorrow. Or, y'know... never.

I take my homework, a ten dollar bill, and my phone back into the living room.

Jared sees the money and scoffs.

"I don't want your money, 'corn."

I sit down next to him on the old, ruddy couch. The dollar is lain on top of his phone - just to make sure he'll take it - and my phone is set adjacent.

The TV is already set to Jared's Netflix account, I start sifting through movies and shows.

"You could pay me in a different way..." His voice lowers.

I only hear what he says, but my mind doesn't register his words. After another few seconds of me clicking, I turn to him and indicate I need it repeated.

"Hm?"

"B-By... Spending time, duh," He stutters out.

This only continues my confusion. I need to stop not paying attention until the middle of conversations...

"Um. Sorry."

There's a few more seconds of silence where I notice Jared's face go bright red, back to normal, then red again.

"D-do you wanna watch something fun or something serious?" I ask.

"Whichever one's an anime. What are the options?" He responds hurriedly.

"Well, there are some documentaries... Is this an anime?"

"No."

"Oh, well, there's this one..."

"I've heard it's trash."

"Really? I've actually heard p-pretty good things about it... okay then... um... this?"

...

A while goes by while we both offer and decline dozens of shows and movies (Jared offered mostly inappropriate comedies and unpleasant-looking horrors), until we decide on a weird anime-like thing Jared had been thinking of watching.

Our positions had shifted without us noticing. Jared's legs were resting on mine, which were propped up by the coffee table. Half of his food was gone, and all I had left of my fries were the weird, crunchy, greasy bits at the bottom of the container.

We watched the show in silence, me occasionally scribbling down a sentence or two on my homework whenever I remember it exists.

After a few episodes, my phone lights up.

I pretend not to notice, but Jared does. He watches me for a second, I see out of the corner of my eye. I try to stay relaxed and just watch the show so that he stops. Jared's waiting for me to pick up my phone. Waiting for me to leave him.

'It's just the idle game, it's just the idle game,' I have to tell myself, 'It's not Connor.'

After a couple more seconds, he gives the TV his attention again. He fixes his posture, as if he totally wasn't just staring at me.

'Smooth, Kleinman...' I sigh internally.

For the next couple minutes, I can't focus on the show for the life of me. What if Connor thinks I'm avoiding him??? Do I really have to give up my 'family friend' for someone new? Why can't I just be friends with both of them???

Is it... Is it selfish to want two friends?

And if I really do have to choose, would I pick a 'family friend' over a relationship I've chosen?

Connor. Jared. Connor. Jared. Connor. Jared. Connor.

I can't think.

Their names flood my mind.

I don't want to choose.