Couldn't help it!

CHAPTER FIVE

Hi everyone!

AUTHOR’S QUESTION OF THE DAY: How’s your side?

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After leaving the bookshop—with promises of thinking about Timi’s offer and my obstinate reluctance at him taking me home—I move about the 12 meter span of my dingy room in my tube and shorts.

Maama is glancing worriedly at me as I walk from pillar to post.

“You know I can call Ady over if you don’t want to share your worry with me,” Maama says, concern etched over her now glowing face. She looks incredibly better now.

“I’m totally fine,” I mumble with a tight smile at Maama. “I just find myself getting very confused,” I confess finally dragging a chair to sit opposite her beside my bed.

“Are you in love?” she asks with a small smile on her face.

This question causes me to choke on air as I feel thoroughly mortified.

You see, romantic love isn’t something we discuss in a typical African home.

“Maybe,” I grunt.

Maama lets out a raucous laugh at this. Her peering charcoal black eyes are focused on me so intently making me uneasy.

“You are scared,” she observes finally. “I’m so sorry Jade if all those abuse your father made me go through affected you emotionally. But I can promise you that not all guys are like that. And if I’m correct, you are totally in love with this person. I’m begging you to give love a chance. Life is quite short and I’ll be damned if I let my stupidity ruin your life. Think about this. Please.”

My appetite is cut short and I leave home not staying for dinner.

I need to be alone.

But I can’t.

Not with my thoughts howling in my head. I need something groovy.

So I call Adisa.

*

The bar feels like the most appropriate place to let wind and forget my worries.

Blue and red light filter across the bar making me feel light.

The Hennessey I am sipping adds to this effect, and the jazz music playing makes me feel mellow.

For once tonight, I want to forget everything. I am on my tenth drink. Or so.

“Babe, I think we’ve got to chill on the drinks, don’t you think?” Adisa asks worriedly.

She is my designated driver after all, therefore, it will be a crime for her to get drunk.

“I just want to forget,” I slur, itching at my neck.

I itch it again.

And I get the feeling I being watched, even in my drunken state.

Turning backwards, nearly wobbling off my chair, I see him.

It is Timi.

He is resting on one of the pillars at the right corner of the bar. I remember the first time I met him. It feels like Déjà vu.

“And look who I’ve found.” I slur. Again.

“Oh shit!” Adisa cuss beside me.

“You are not angry right?”

I turn towards Adisa at her question, guilt is painted all over her baby face. Almost, overshadowing her glowing makeup.

“You called him?” I slur-scream.
Her ring-adorned fingers shake slightly.