The only reason to marry is Love - A Sanditon fanfic

Chapter 6: On an imaginary journey together

Charlotte was seated by the desk in her room attempting to write a letter. She had dipped the quill in ink, but it remained hovering in the air above the paper, whilst her gaze was fixed at a point far away.

She was thinking about her husband.

The last days had been so confusing and she was not sure what to make of it all. Being in Sidney Parker's proximity evoked feelings in her which she never had experienced before, ranging from fury to something undefinable. Recently, he had efficiently suffocated the anger she initially felt towards him and the unfairness of the situation, by showing her nothing but kindness. The generous gifts that seemed to be given without ulterior motive were delightful, but even more she appreciated their conversations and that he always seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say. Also, the concern he showed when she spoke of her family and his offer to both go visit them and support them financially had touched her deeply.

Most confusing of all had been when he kneeled beside her by the dining table and first took her hand, then wiped away her tears, only to abruptly back away from her when he became aware of what he was doing. Before that, she had feared any physical contact with him but in that moment she discovered she did not wish for him to distance himself. When he stroked her cheek, she was so close to lean into his palm because the unexpected touch was so comforting. How fortunate that he moved away before she did so, preventing her from making a fool of herself.

He had spent more time with her after that. They had dined together the past few evenings and yesterday he had come looking for her when he returned home in the afternoon.

He had found her in the library, the room where she spent most of her time when he was away. Knowing that the servants were unlikely to come in there, she had been lying reading on the floor because the large book was too heavy to hold comfortably. Propped up on her elbows, she had stretched out on her stomach, taken off her shoes and let her stocking clad legs leisurely swing, lost in daydreams.

He announced his presence by a soft knock. When she startled looked up, he was leaning against the doorframe with an amused expression and she was, as happened sometimes, overwhelmed by his handsomeness. She had not seen much of the London high society men yet, so she could only compare to the men in Willingden and she had never seen anyone quite like him. He always appeared so confident and contained, except for the few occasions when she had made him lose his temper or show compassion. His chiselled features, combined with the dark hair and eyes would have made him seem slightly dangerous, had it not been for the contrasting full lips and his brown eyes when they sometimes shifted from piercing to soft. He was also very fashionable, so it was no wonder that he wished for her to match him better in that aspect. Like now, when his perfectly tailored waist-coat and breeches clung to his body, showing that it was as well-toned as that of the hard-working men at her father's estate. She had never been curious about any of them but found that she now was curious about him. How come he looked like that, only leans muscles, despite a life-style she imagined contained far more leisure than labour?

All in all, she could see that he must appeal to many women, so it seemed so strange he would choose to marry one which he did not desire, as he had made clear was the case to Lord Babington, and one who certainly felt nothing for him.

She wondered how long he had been standing watching her, embarrassed over her own unladylike behaviour. She saw his eyes travel down her body and register the dress that had slipped down her angled legs to fall around her knees and now showed more than was appropriate. She was about to sit up and adjust her skirts, when he stopped her.

"Don't let me interrupt you."

To her surprise, he sauntered over and laid down beside her, though at an appropriate distance so their bodies did not touch. She could still feel him though. Even if she had closed her eyes she would have known he was there, from the body heat emanating from him and the pleasant whiff of cologne, a musky and citrusy scent. She liked it so much she had to stop herself from inhaling noticeably deeply and she moved and inch in the other direction.