SHOCKED STRAIGHT

No Escape

I finally flopped down on my bunk and closed my eyes. Nothing happened. I couldn't sleep. The pillow was too thin, the diaper felt bulky around my waist and the cell was stuffy. All sorts of thoughts were racing through my mind.

I can't believe I'm locked up in a jail cell. God, I've screwed up my whole life. Mom and dad will never trust me again. Maybe they won't want me anymore. I'll be homeless. I'll have to steal food and money to survive. Maybe I'll be in and out of jail like Caleb.

When I opened my eyes, the cell door bars were silhouetted against the corridor lights. How I hated those bars! They were a constant reminder that I was in jail. Those bars seemed to be taunting me.

Ha! Ha! You're behind bars and you can't go home.

A new wave of sorrow swept over me. Tears trickled down my face.      I felt alone and desperate again. I couldn't live behind bars in a cage.  I had to escape and I knew how to do it.

I waited until after the guard shined his flashlight through the cell door bars. That gave me an hour until the next cell check. That was plenty of time to put my escape plan into action. 

I took the bed sheet off my bunk and climbed up quietly to Caleb's upper bunk. I tied the sheet to a horizontal slat between two bars. Then I twisted the sheet into a crude rope and made a noose in the other end. I put the noose around my neck.

I was strangely calm as I prepared to commit suicide. All I had to do was jump off Caleb's bunk. I'd break my neck and be free from jail forever.

"Don't do that, you stupid shit!" said Caleb in a hushed voice. He grabbed my legs so I couldn't jump off his bunk. "I knew you'd do something stupid. That's why I stayed awake. Take that stupid thing off your neck!"

"Let go of me!" I said as tears streamed down my face. "I can't stand these bars anymore."

"What did you expect?" asked Caleb. "This is jail and jails have bars. Get used to it, you Snob Hill wimp!

Caleb's words stung. He was so kind and caring before lights out. Now he was calling me a wimp. I tried to free my legs, but Caleb wouldn't let go. He sensed that his words were making me feel worse, so he changed tactics and started talking about my parents.

"How do you think your parents would feel if you killed yourself? They might decide to kill themselves, too. Is that what you want? Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your parents!"

Caleb's words shocked me. Until that moment, I never thought about the effect my suicide would have on my parents. I didn't want them to die because of me. 

I removed the noose from my neck and untied the sheet from the cell door slat. Caleb let go of my legs and started talking again.

"You're going to sleep next to me in my bunk. I'll make sure you get through the night."

So that's how I spent my first night in jail—sleeping next to Caleb in his bunk. It was a tight squeeze, but it worked. I felt safe and secure next to him. Jail is such a lonely place, but his close presence got me through the night. 

During the night, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed that I was swimming in our backyard pool.

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I was jolted back to reality. I wasn't in a pool. Instead, I was locked in jail. Waking up behind bars in a jail cell is a sad way to start the day.

I glanced at Caleb. He was still asleep and his arm was slung over my body. Now I faced a problem. I needed to pee, but I didn't want to wake up Caleb by moving his arm and climbing down from his bunk.

What the heck! I'm wearing a diaper. I might as well pee in it.

I never thought wetting a diaper would feel good, but I was wrong. As I peed, I could feel my pee trickling over my private parts before being absorbed by my diaper. What a wonderful warm feeling!

A bell sounded at 7:00 AM and our cell lights came back on. Caleb looked at me through sleepy eyes and smiled.

"Hey, we made it through the night," he said. "One more night and we'll be out of this crappy place. How do you feel?"

"I feel better," I said. "Thanks for helping me get through the night. I'm sorry I acted like such a baby."

"You are a baby," said Caleb with a grin on his face. "You're wearing a diaper like a baby, aren't you? All you Snob Hill kids are babies. Did you pee your diaper like a baby, too?"

"Not during the night, but I had to go this morning. I didn't want to wake you, so I just peed in my diaper. I'm glad I didn't have to poop. How about you? Are you wet?"

"Yep," said Caleb. "I wet myself during the night. I was afraid to climb down from my bunk and wake you, so I just peed in my diaper. It felt good. I guess I'm a baby, too. That's what happens when I sleep next to a wimpy Snob Hill kid. I become a wimpy Snob Hill baby."

Caleb's comments made me smile. I knew the real reason why we wet our diapers. We cared about each other and didn't want to bother the other person. We were becoming friends.

We finally climbed down from the upper bunk and sat on my bunk. Caleb put his arm around my shoulders again. We sat like this for several minutes, silently staring at the bars that kept us prisoners. Caleb finally broke the silence.

"So what do you think of those bars now?"

"I'll show you what I think," I said.

I stood up, pulled down my wet diaper, bent over and wiggled my bare butt at the bars.

Caleb cracked up laughing at my "mooning" of the bars. His laughter was contagious and I quickly joined in. How wonderful it felt to laugh again!  I hadn't laughed since the day before my arrest.  

At that moment, I realized how lucky I was to be in a cell with Caleb.  If I had been locked up alone, I would never have survived the night.

I really like Caleb. After we get out of jail, I hope we can stay friends. Maybe we can have sleepovers. I'll ask mom and dad if he can come with us when we go on vacation in the mountains. He'd like that.