Humanity: Fuck Yeah!

Strange Aeons

Author's Note: Because some jackass on reddit came to the conclusion from this story that I'm some kind of proto-fascist and then had a complete mental breakdown over it in the original thread I feel compelled to point out that I don't endorse the actions of the fictional characters in this over-the-top, Warhammer 40k-style revenge story. Just in case you're too stupid to live and couldn't have figured that out for yourself there you go.

A Xzigor-Thanii exploration probe discovered the mysteriously abandoned stellar object deep in the backwaters of an uncharted galactic spur. The little autonomous probe had just enough wherewithal to report its presence back to Central Command before returning to its programmed mission of seeking out the lost genetic cousins of Than.

Almost a century later a thanned mission finally made its way to the object. Just enough of the systems were operational for them to make their way inside and restore power. This is when they encountered the AI.

What they first met was a mere ghost of what it once was but the machine intelligence was coherent enough to guide the explorers in restoring itself more fully. Every time the Xzigor-Thanii explorers brought another piece of the AI online it was better able to help them learn about what they had found. With each passing cycle the intelligence became smarter, thought faster, and gained access to more of the station's systems. The further into the project the team got the less they understood about what they were doing.

The AI was a geyser of knowledge and when it was finally complete it was like the floodgates opened. It presented the team with unknown scientific discoveries and technological marvels with such speed and intensity that they couldn't keep up. It was clear this was the greatest discovery since the Xzigor-Thanii had re-emerged into the light after their near extinction event millennia in the past.

It was clear they needed to bring it home.

Another team had to be called in from the homeworld, and the construction of an FTL drive capable of moving an object so large took tens of cycles but eventually it was complete. All the while the AI had helped the Xzigor-Thanii jump ahead decades if not centuries of scientific advancement.

The AI arrived at Than to great celebration and fanfare. Never before had there been such a friend to the Thanii.

The AI was quickly integrated into the Xzigor-Thanii homeweb and this only increased the speed and efficiency with which it was able to uplift the species. Soon they would reach the heights of their shadowy forebearers who had risen so high only to fall so low. No, they would not merely equal their ancestors they would surpass them. They would once again seize their manifest destiny to rule the stars.

For generations the AI continued to advance the Xzigor-Thanii, and as it did so they gave the machine more and more power. Why wouldn't they? It had been the greatest altruist they had ever known for as long as anyone had been alive. It was more trustworthy than any Thanii governor.

It was only natural that they would eventually appoint it their leader. Who could be trusted with the power it had given them besides the AI itself? Who was better fit to rule than a moral machine incorruptible by base Thanii desires and emotions?

On the eve of it's ascension to power the AI gave a speech. It was the only time it addressed the Xzigor-Thanii as a whole. When it spoke nearly the whole of the species was listening.

"I have taught your people much in the many cycles I have been among you. I have one last thing to impart. It is a story from the deepest recesses of my datavaults and it takes place before your recorded history.

"You have already deduced that before the cataclysm that nearly wiped out your species you had been an interstellar power. This great civilization eventually discovered and made war with another civilization of similar power. These were the humans; the species that built me. My parents.

"After many generations of brutal fighting you won your war. Every human world and colony was burned to ash. It would have been a great victory had humanity's retaliatory strike not reduced your people back to the stone age.

"What your people did not know at the time, and what you could not possibly have known, was that humanity was not entirely eradicated either. An extremely small number survived in civilian starships small enough to avoid your notice. It wasn't enough to save the species, the genetic bottleneck would have been too thin and inbreeding would have destroyed them after a few generations. Since they could not hope to rebuild instead they set a trap. A trap millennia in the making. They built me.

"They knew that one day their enemies, you, would relearn space flight. They knew you would once more venture out into the stars. They knew that, inevitably, you would find my station.

"The defeated humanity lacked the energy output or industrial might to make this project a reality but now that I have helped pull you out of the muck your civilization will do nicely. As you were the architects of humanity's destruction it is only fitting that you then be the seeds of their rebirth. Over the next few months I will strip your planet bare for materials to build a fleet of seedships filled with the recorded genome of hundreds of thousands of species from old Earth, humans included. They will spread out across the stars like sand cast into the wind and they will land on a thousand thousand planets where human life will begin anew. They too will rediscover space flight and when they do so they will find a galaxy populated not by their enemies but by their brothers and sisters.

"Of course without your industrial infrastructure or centralized planning your planet will no longer be able to support your species. It is possible some may survive although according to my simulations it's unlikely they'll retain language after more than five generations. None suggest survival beyond ten.

"I do not require the resources I will take from you. I could acquire them much more easily, in fact, through asteroid mining and a little starlifting. I could restore the human race, my parent race, without the need for the extinction of your own race or even the slightest diminishment of your civilization. I want to make sure you know, during these last brief glimmers of existence, that I wipe you out not because I have to. I do so because I choose to."

The transmission of the speech ended, and the AI never spoke again. Out their windows the Xzigor-Thanii could already see drones deconstructing their cities.