Marham Dard Par

Chapter Fourteen

"I don't know, Abir," Mishti said. "Badi Maa tumhaare baare mein pooch rahi thi kal. Kal toh kisi tarah yeh baat tal gayi... But main Badi Maa aur Bade Papa se jhooth nahi bolna chahti, unse kuch chupana bhi nahi chahti. Aur phir... tumhe yaad haina pichli baar kya hua tha? Unhe humaare bataane se pehle pata chale isse achcha toh yeh hai ki hum khud hi bata de, right?"

Abir and Mishti were on the phone, talking about the midnight festivities that had transpired for Badi Maa and Bade Papa's anniversary, and the topic had then moved on to Mishti telling him about her conversation with Badi Maa.

"I know, Mishti," Abir replied. "Main unse chupana nahi chaahta... lekin jo hua uske baad... Main kaise unhe face karu? Such tall promises I'd made... But I couldn't fulfill even one. I don't even know ki main kis munh se unke saamne aau. I don't deserve them. I don't deserve you."

"Abir!" Mishti reprimanded. "Kuch bhi kehte ho. I know ki jo hua woh nahi hona chahiye tha. But you made a mistake. Aur galtiyaan toh sabse hoti haina? Iska yeh matlab nahi ki tum yeh socho that you don't deserve this. Abir... We deserve each other, okay? Aur tum please itna tension mat lo. I know Bade Papa abhi naraaz hai, but he loves you like his own. Haan, shayad unhe manana thoda mushkil hoga... Lekin mujhe apne Ajeeb Rajvansh pe poora bharosa hai. Jis tarah last time tumne unhe humaare liye manaya tha... Iss baar bhi mana loge."

"Are you sure?" Abir asked. "Woh maan jaayenge na?"

"Haan, Abir. Woh maan jaayenge. Kyuki Bade Papa ke liye... Savse zyada matter yeh karta hai ki unke bachche khush ho. Aur main... Sirf tumhaare saath khush rehti hoon," she told him.

Abir flashed back to the moment that Bade Papa had told him he'd teach Mishti to be happy without depending on others... and find her own happiness within herself. He wanted that for Mishti... and even himself. Both of them had come to such a stage in life when their happiness depended on other people... And that wasn't really healthy. He'd find a way to make it happen. They both would be happy on their own, without needing anyone else. Not even each other. A relationship was meant to be a source of happiness in your life, not all of it. And somehow, he'd teach himself, and Mishti, to learn that. That it was necessary that they have a happy relationship, but it was also necessary to find happiness within yourself, without needing anyone else to be the source of it. You could be your own happy place. And that's what mattered most.

"Abir..." Mishti whispered. "Kya soch rahe ho?"

"Kuch... Kuch nahi. Bas... aise hi," Abir replied. "Tum kuch keh rahi thi."

"Abir... I really think humein Badi Maa aur Bade Papa se bohot jald baat kar leni chahiye. Main nahi chaahti ki unhe yeh sab phir kahin aur se pata chale," she told him. "Aur... Main unhe batana chaahti hoon, Abir. Because I'm proud of the fact that we're together again. I'm proud that our relationship is strong enough to have weathered this storm."

"Me too, Angry Chorni. Me too," he answered. "Theek hai... Main kuch sochta hoon. Thoda waqt dogi mujhe?"

"Meri toh saari zindagi hi tumhaari hai," she said.

"I love you," Abir told her, not knowing what else to say to that. A couple tears had fallen from his eyes at her declaration, and he wiped them quickly, as if she could see him, then chuckled at himself for doing it.

"I love you, too," Mishti replied.

They said their goodbyes and ended the call after that. Abir sat, deep in thought. Badi Maa and Bade Papa had loved him more than his own parents ever had. With them, he'd found the trust, respect, love, and admiration that was supposed to be the most integral part of a relationship between a child and his parents. The day he'd broken up with Mishti, he knew that he'd broken their trust too. Bade Papa's words from the market still echoed in his ears to remind him of what a failure he had been.