Pieces of Your Heart

Empty Rooms

Elodie spent the following weeks in a haze, trying her best to come to terms with the tremendous loss she'd suffered.  But as the days wore on, it became harder and harder for her to come up with the energy to pretend that she was ok.  She sat in the house for days, not eating, not sleeping, just watching TV and ignoring the world outside.  Ian had asked her every day and every night to stay with him for a while, just until she figured out what she wanted to do, but she just couldn't bring herself to accept his offer.  She couldn't stand the idea of him seeing her like this, numb and pathetic. Truthfully, she knew that she was shutting him out of this part of her life; but she didn't want to be saved.  And lately it seemed like that's all he wanted to do. 

Elodie sat on her sister's bed, wearing sweatpants and the Juilliard hoodie she'd bought during her short time in New York.  She had started to wonder if maybe she shouldn't try to go back there. After all she had nothing left to take care of; so what was holding her back?

She got up slowly and walked around the house, going from room to room turning on every light she could find.  When she got to the kitchen, she picked up the bottle of Jameson that sat on the counter, still in the plastic grocery bag the guy at the checkout counter had placed it in before she'd left the liquor store.   That had been two days ago; it was the last time she'd left that house. 

Elodie grabbed the bottle off the counter and walked out onto the front porch.  She sat on the cast iron bench and looked out into the street, opening the bottle of booze and taking a long swig.  She swung her legs over the armrest and leaned back taking another long drink.  She couldn't remember a time when she'd felt so completely lost.

Halfway down the bottle of whiskey, Ian's truck pulled up into the driveway.  He got out and walked towards her, still in his police uniform.  The alcohol flowing through her bloodstream made him appear fuzzy against the glow of the porch light.

"How'd you find me?" she asked, her voice slurring slightly.

Ian stood in front of the porch, just at the edge of the light, with his hands resting on his hips. 

"When we talk on the phone you don't tell me anything.  I know you're going through a lot, trust me, I get it.   I've been there myself; but you really need to snap out of this bullshit mood you've been in and figure out what the hell you want to do with your life."

Elodie rolled her eyes and got up, turning towards the door.  "Fuck off Ian.  I don't need you telling me what I need to do or how I can fix this.  I can't fix this.  My sister's dead.  She's fucking dead.  My dad's a drunk, and my mom is probably holed up in a cheap motel room somewhere with a needle sticking out of her arm. Don't you get it?  I have no one.  I am all fucking alone.  There's no fixing that shit."

Ian stormed up the porch steps and grabbed her arm firmly.  "Elodie, your sister died.  You are not dead.  You are still alive, you're still healthy, you're still breathing.  Stop acting like you're the one who's gone."  He stared at her hard for a long moment before letting her go. 

Elodie touched her arm where he'd held on to her; he immediately regretted putting his hands on her like that. 

"I don't need you to try and rescue me," she glowered at him,  "especially since it seems that you're just like every other guy."

Ian shook his head, looking away.  "Oh come on Elle, you know that's bullshit.  You are just looking for an excuse to push me away, to shut me out!  You can't get it through that pretty little head of yours that someone actually gives a fuck about you enough to stick around, even through this, even through your acting ugly and pathetic."

Elodie turned and rushed toward him, hitting his chest with both her open hands, trying to physically push him away from her.  "Fuck you!  You don't even know me!  You don't know shit, all you know is that you lost everything in your own life and feel like now you can give other people your sad bits of advice!  Why don't just fuck off and leave me the fuck alone? Don't ever come back here and tell me what the fuck to do you fucking asshole."  She broke down and started sobbing violently.