Countdown

p a r t 1

Listen to the song to get in the mood of this story (I wrote it while listening to this)

Got the inspiration for this story from an edit from insedxts on Instagram go give her a follow
Link to the edit: https://www.instagram.com/p/B86rtbFnfhH/?igshid=zth6ep1q4c9o

Ethan's perspective

I was in the living room. Spencer was just running around, he had no idea what horror his owner was going to go trough. I found an excuse to leave without Mika knowing I was going to the doctor, I didn't want to make her to be worried. I didn't really want to leave, I knew that there was just a small chance I'll get good news. I walked trough the door and got to my car, but it was like some force was pulling me back, trying to protect me from bad news. I started the car and drove away, away from safety, back to hell. I walked into the doctors office, and his face already told me enough.
'Hello Ethan'
'Hi'
'How are you today?'
'I don't know, you tell me'
'Ethan, I have bad news for you. I've looked trough everything and I sadly, found out you only have one year left, I'm so sorry for you'
It felt like the ground I was standing on was breaking down and like I was falling into a black hole, like it was consuming me. And I realized that all of my dreams were crushed. I left the room without saying anything. I got into the car and I sat down. Suddenly I realized what happened, and I started crying like crazy. The tears were streaming down my face and my neck. After crying in my car for almost an hour I started the car and drove home. Luckily Mika wasn't  home, I didn't  want her to see me like this, I didn't want her to know. All I knew now I that this last year had to be a good one, I just didn't know how yet. I just went to sleep.
When I woke up I had an idea to do for my last year: make a channel, not a normal one, one where I do whatever comes my mind. Mark was coming today, and he couldn't notice what was happening. I heard knocking on the door and opened.
M: 'hey man how ya doing'
E: 'great! Wanna record a video together?'
M: 'Yes! Now?'
And then something came to my mind
E: 'no wait actually I'm thinking to do something sit down'
We sat down and I started to think my idea was to crazy, Mark would never do this, but I could at least try.
M: 'okay what's up?'
E: 'So I was thinking to do like a crazy YouTube channel, we do all kinds of crazy and silly stuff, but after a year we just delete everything.'
M:...
E: 'Sorry bad idea'
M: 'No it's an amazing idea!'
E: 'wait really?
M: 'YES, okay let's give it like a cool name and like at the beginning of the video a countdown for when it's ending'
E: 'uhm okay, what about unus annus?'
M: 'what?'
E: 'It means one year'
M: 'yes it's a great name'
I don't think Mark notices anything. He's just very happy to get to do something fun. I looked at him like I never did before, I know in a little while he'll have to say goodbye to me, and that even makes me more sad than actually the fact I'll have to go. I feel bad for not telling him, but I don't want anyone to be worried about me. Especially not the people I care about, I don't want them to feel sad for me. There is nothing they can do, there's nothing I can do, and being sad won't help. We talked for a while and I noticed how I got tears in my eyes every time he said something about the past or the future, it made it even more clear it was all gonna be gone in a little while. While I lead him to the door Mark asked me why I was so emotional today, I just said didn't take my meds, but that was obviously a lie. I walked over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, everything felt so unreal, like I already died. I started thinking and thinking and got more mad at everything around me. Suddenly I seemed to blame everything and everyone for what was happening to me, like it was somebody's fault. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my hand. I looked down and saw blood dripping on the floor and broken glass in my hands. I started screaming and crying and I fell down on the floor. I tried to get the pieces out of my bloody hand and tried to stop the blood with my shirt. Suddenly I felt two hands on my shoulders. I looked up and saw Mika's worried look at me. She was in tears and I saw that she was trying to call the ambulance.
E: 'Mika no I'm fine it's just a cut'
Mi: 'Ethan look at all the blood what happened?!'
E: 'I'M FINE'
I ran upstairs, silently hoping she would follow me, and hug me and tell me it'll be fine. But she didn't. I fell down on my bed and tried to calm down. I felt Spencer licking my face, trying to lick the tears from my face hoping I'll stop crying. It made me laugh for a bit, but then I realized my hand was bleeding like crazy and I went to the bathroom to get the med kit. I cleaned the wound and wrapped a bandaid around it. I went back to the bedroom and got under the covers, even tough it was 2:57pm, I didn't care. Suddenly I heard a soft voice saying hi behind the door. I heard Mika was in pain and obviously wanted to know what's wrong.
E: 'come in...'
She came into the room and I saw her face was covered in tears, yet I was to scared to say anything.
Mi: 'sorry...'
E: 'it's my fault'
Mi: 'it isn't, can I see?'
She grabbed my hand and pulled it towards her. She softly pulled of the bandaid and I flinched a bit. She looked at the wounds and I saw the hurt in her eyes. I knew I had to tell her.
E: 'Hey Mika it's not your fault okay?'
Mi: 'just tell me what happened'
E: 'I was drinking water and I accidentally crushed the glass, look I got mad and lost my self control, it's not a big deal'
Mi: 'I don't understand, why were you mad? Did Mark do something?'
I felt tears filling my eyes and my heart shattered. I had to tell her, but it would hurt her.
E: 'one year'
Mi: 'What?'
E: 'I have one year left, Mika. Just one.'
Mi: 'Ethan, I-...'
I saw her break down, into my arms. She didn't stop crying, neither did I, I think she's hurting more than I am. We fell asleep in each other's arms, crying silently. I felt her warmth and heard her heartbeat, all kinds of small things I never noticed. I felt her pain, her love and her friendship all at once.
We woke up at the same time, we looked each other in the eyes and I saw that she understood what I was trying to tell her. It'll be alright.
Mi: 'We'll make this the best one'
E: 'Best one?'
Mi: 'we're gonna make this the best year of your life'
Her voice made me believe. She made me happier than anyone ever did. I was happy I told her. I followed her out of the room and saw her taking all the stuff to make breakfast. I decided to take Spencer on his daily morning walk. I took my jacket and Spencer's lead. We walked down my street and went to the dog park. I let Spencer run and play with the other dogs, he's still a bit shy but he'll learn how to play with other dogs, I hope I'll still be here then. I got a message, it's mark asking me if we could film the first video for unus annus. I replied with yes obviously. He told me to come over to his house at 3:00pm so I still have enough time to talk to Mika a bit. I just sat on a bench in this park, watching my dog play. I was enjoying the little things, like the birds, the small flowers that grew in the grass, the sun on my face, I suddenly felt grateful for everything. I just sat there for an hour and finally decided to get back home. I put Spencer back on the lead and walked away from the park. When I stepped inside of my house I smelled the breakfast Mika made for me. It smelled like crumbled eggs and toast. Mika came to me with a big smile on her face and a plate in her hand, it was filled with eggs, bacon, a toast and all kinds of fruits I didn't even know we had. I took the plate and sat down, she also took a plate and sat down next to me, she leaned her head on my shoulder while chewing her toast food. We didn't say a word while eating, we just silently enjoyed each other's company. When we were both done eating Mika just looked at me, waiting for me to say something, but I had no idea what to say. I saw her trying hard to smile, but her fake smile faded to tears in a split second, and all I could do was watch, I couldn't move or say anything, I hurt her, I know I did. For at least and hour we just sat there, silently waiting for each other to say something, but we both didn't have the courage to open our mouth, what could we say? There was nothing reasonable to say, everything I could think about would eventually make her cry.
E: 'Mika I'm sorry'
Mi: 'What are you sorry for? For being sick? It's not your fault'
E: 'I shouldn't have told you'
Mi: 'Yes you should, now I know what I should prepare for, the shock would've been bigger if you didn't tell me'
E: 'you're right, but I don't want to see you in pain like this'
Mi: 'it's fine, really'
Suddenly Mika's eyes widened. She wiped her tears away and her fake smile was back
Mi: 'Hey Mark! How long have you been standing there?'
Ma: 'Uhm, about a minute?...'
E: 'Mark why are you here?!'
Ma: 'it's 3pm...'
E: 'Oh my God I totally forgot I'm sorry'
Ma: 'it's nothing, look!'
He pulled two suits out of a bag, a black one and a white one. I hugged Mika and went to the recording room with Mark.