Merthur Oneshots

Songfic-Someone

You're sat in the corner
Eyes on your phone
You're sat right next to me
But somehow, I just feel alone

Arthur started to notice the change in Merlin several weeks after he had returned. The day he had returned had been confusing and painful.
Painful, because he had to see how incredibly lonely Merlin had been. But they stood through it. Arthur lessening Merlins grieve and giving him his hope back. He saw the light in Merlins eyes, that he had missed so much, when he saw him for the first time, slowly turning back. And he saw how Merlin became his old self again more and more.
But now? Now the silence had returned. This all consuming silence that weighed so heavily. Merlin had stopped talking. Was either thinking or reading something on that strange thing he called "mobile phone" According to him, it somehow did not work with magic...
And now they sat there, none of them saying a word and Arthur knew it was unfair, but somehow it felt, like Merlin was leaving him alone in this big strange world. He tried to talk about something, anything and started to talk about how confusing the TV was again, because nothing else came to his mind. But Merlin did not answer.

Ask if you're listening
What's on your mind
You say, I wouldn't understand
But I wish you would let me try

"Merlin, are you even listening to me?" He asked, trying not to sound annoyed. But again, there was no kind of reaction. "What is going on Merlin?" he asked quietly, talking more to himself than to Merlin. "What is happening in this mind of yours?" Merlin looked up and for a moment his eyes met Arthurs. "I can't tell you. You would not understand it either way. You do not need to worry about this Arthur." The fake smile remained on his face, but his sad eyes made him look so lost and blue that Arthur did worried even more. He wanted to, at least try, to understand what was causing his friend to worry so much. He wanted to know why Merlin kept secrets from him again. The moment their eyes met, Arthur was immediately thrown back in time, remembering all those moments where he had underestimated Merlin, where Merlin had looked so sad, so lost. This look on his face that said: "I wish you would know." and "I can never tell him." But he knew now, didn't he? He knew about Merlins magic, about his immortality, about all those things he did and all the things he lost. They had talked about it so much. Merlin had sworn, that he would never keep something like this from Arthur again, had sworn to trust him. So why didn't he trust him now?

Are you running in circles
With nowhere to go
Are you lost and afraid
But you can't let it show

Merlin barely heard Arthurs next question. He did not hear the silent, soft whisper that asked him if he was lost in his mind and if Arthur could help him somehow. The question if his thoughts were spinning around again never reached his thoughts, that indeed were spinning around. He needed to find a solution. And he needed to find it on his own. Because there was one thing that he had not told Arthur. And that he would not tell him now. Because it was his duty and only his duty to keep Arthur save. And he would also keep him away from any kind of trouble and if it was just worry. He never told Arthur the reason why he was back. In the beginning he wasn't even thinking about it. His mind filled with too much relief. But now he was worried. Oh how worried he was. What had caused the return of his golden king? What was Albions greatest need? There was no kind of war or other crisis threatening them and if he thought about it, there was no more Albion. The old kingdoms were long gone and nothing was at it had been before.

Sat in the corner
Eyes on your phone
But you don't have to go
Through this on your own

And somewhen Merlin heard Arthur yelling at him. At least it sounded like yelling but when he finally looked up at him Arthur stood just there and he looked as if he was beginning to panic, but tried to stay calm for Merlin hardly. "Merlin, you told me that there wouldn't be more secrets. I wanted you to promise me so that we can protect each other, that it is not only you to worry about things. I wanted us to share every burden we might see. You should no go through whatever is worrying you on your own." Merlins eyes were filled with tears and apologizing he said: "Arthur I can't tell you. This is a burden for myself and only for myself. I won't cause you any pain with my problems." "Merlin we've been through this. I told you that you can trust me. It will get so much easier if you just tell me." But Merlin shook his head stubbornly. "Please just let me go through this. I need to find out something very important and I have to do it alone. I don't need help."