1.2 | the choices i made • jhs ✓

1 | When Young

19 YEAR OLD HOBI, smiling at him, staring at Hoseok as he stared at the mirror. Hoseok felt guilty for many reasons as he stared at his own reflection. Firstly, because he didn't listen to him when he made the choice. Secondly, he was lying when he said he would be fine. He wasn't. He wasn't fine at all.

Hobi  loves dance. Hoseok loves dance too. But Hoseok was scared of his parents finding about his dreams of being one of the greatest dancers of the world. They found out that their son had joined under an agency without their knowledge, and Hoseok had to tell them as the agency couldn't take him in without their consent. That's why Hoseok was sorry that he couldn't save their dream. Hobi was still staring at him with the same smile,  Hoseok gets furious and smashes the glass. The glass breaks into several pieces, just like his heart. Some of the glass pieces pricking onto his skin, blood oozing out of the cuts, and some of them falling everywhere on the ground. He cries, because of the pain. Not because of the physical pain, but of the emotional pain. His weak knees  tremble and he falls on the floor and leans against his bed.

"Hoseokie, you can't do this. You've worked so hard to get into this university. You can't quit medical school and decide to work as a trainee at an agency.."

Hoseok stares at his medicine books which were bought by his parents.

"Our Hoseokie will study medicine and make us proud one day!" Hoseok's Mom had said a few minutes ago.

He throws them away, the pages now bloodied.

What about my dream? What about my love for dance? What are the chances that I'll be a good doctor? I might be the worst. Dance, I love it. I love it so much that I'm scared of losing her. Oh but wait, I'm not scared anymore. Because I already lost her. She won't be back. It's just not possible. Hoseok thinks to himself.

"You're listening, right? Hoseok?" His mom had asked.

Hoseok nodded but he was angry.

How could he throw his hard work just like that?

It's ironic that he barely studied for the entrance exam and he got into a top university he didn't even like. And then there was his dance. The only thing he loved, the one which he worked hard for and was passionate of. He was so close to not getting a chance with this agency and yet here he was, quitting on it before everything even began. They called him but he rejected the contract. The 19 year old boy cried so much that night.

"Hoseok! You don't know how happy I am!" His Dad beamed as he hugged him.

"I knew you would make the right choice, baby!" His Mom had exclaimed.

"Besides, we are not asking to stop dancing! Let it just be a hobby! You can always keep going back to it!!" His Mom had said.

Hoseok smiles.

No. No, I cannot go back to dancing just like that. It's gone. Everything I had worked for is gone. My love is gone.

Whatever I will have now of dance is only memories. And memories always fade.