After Grace

26. Enmity

The car seemed to float along the winding highway, curving right, falling left, rolling down wide hills. We simply drifted, like a bird following an unseen current in the sky.

Seth was in the backseat, his clothes still dripping red, his eyes shimmering with unfallen tears. I didn't remember getting in the car. I didn't remember anything after killing Oliver and shooting the others. My body swayed as the car hugged the curves, tires screaming between silent trees. I looked down and saw I was still barefoot. My bag, which I had left in the bookstore was down by my feet. Travis was yelling, asking me questions, asking if I was okay.

I watched as a single puff of white cloud drifted against the baby blue sky, quietly breaking apart as it was pushed by an invisible gust of wind.

"I'm alright," I lied. My voice came out so small and weak, I figured he hadn't heard me, but he finally stopped asking.

"We're moving out to Seth's group as soon as we get back to the group," Travis said. His focus was absolute, his determination audible. "One of them got away, they know where we are, they'll be coming for us now."

"I can't," Seth uttered, his voice raspy, his eyes fixed on the emerald blur of trees rushing past his window.

"Can't what?" Travis asked, eyes firm on the road.

"Take you to my group. Not now that they'll be following us."

The car moved along for a few more seconds, steady and fast. Then, Travis leaned his foot on the brake, not violent or sudden but slow and calculated. We finally stopped moving altogether. The sound of new leaves scraping against one another as a spring breeze rolled past was all there was until Travis turned back in his seat and spoke directly to Seth.

"I have a family. They're scared. I told them I would make sure they were safe, but they're not. We're out of food. Almost out of water. We're only seven days from your camp, that's all the supplies we have-if that. Your camp is our only chance."

Seth's grief turned to anger, he looked Travis in the eye. "You think I don't have a family? My little sister's waiting for me. I'm all she has. She's the reason I can't go back, we've been hidden all this time, I can't risk being tracked." Travis grabbed Seth by the collar.

"We're dying!"

"I'm sorry!" the boy shouted.

"Get out," Travis ordered, letting him go.

"What?" Seth asked.

Travis stepped out and rushed to the back door. He pulled the boy out by his shirt and dragged him onto the road. Before I had a chance to do anything he had already started kicking Seth in the stomach.

"Tell me where it is!" Travis shouted as he kicked him again and again. Seth tried to crawl away but Travis only brought his heels down with more force, making Seth cough and gasp for air.

"Stop!" I shouted but Travis only hit him harder. I opened the glove box and found the extra handgun we had brought, I pulled it out and ran from the car. Travis lifted Seth by the shirt and threw a heavy punch across his jaw. The boy stumbled and fell on his back.

"Travis stop!" I said, gun at my side.

"Stop? This kid is the reason we're all gonna end up starved on the road! Me, that little girl you were with, my son, my wife," he marched toward Seth who put his hands up trying to protect himself. He snatched him from the ground and dragged him over to me. "After everything we've been through-he's the only hope we have, and he won't help us. Go ahead."

"Go ahead and what?"

"Don't do that," he said. "I saw what you did back there, when they were gonna kill us, that wasn't strategy, that was rage. And you should be angry, I don't know half what they did to you and even I'm angry. Go ahead. Show this kid what happens when someone who could help chooses not to."

Seth bled in front of me, his eyes swollen shut, his lip split open. "...We'll make him talk when we get him back to camp."

"We don't have time!" Travis roared. "We don't have time to take a vote, we don't have time to calculate, we're out of supplies, we're being hunted-lift your gun, make him talk now!"

He was right. What happened in that town had been rage and it had been burning in me for a long time. Everywhere I went, I left bodies behind me, a trail of blood and death. I wanted to believe I was only doing what I had to do to help myself and those who needed me but, as I stood there with the gun in my hand and the broken boy helpless in front of me, refusing to give us what we needed, I found myself wanting nothing more than to lay waste to him and anyone else standing in my way. Just like Mother did.

"We're not doing this," I said.

"Give me that gun," Travis reached out. I lifted it up and aimed at his heart. His eyes narrowed to me. I took Seth by the arm and pulled him away from Travis. "Get inside," I told Seth. He opened the back seat and crawled in.

"What're you doing?" Travis asked.

I reached in through the driver's window and pulled out his backpack. I threw it on the road. "We can't be like them. We can't do things that way," I said and stepped into the car, gun still aiming at Travis.

"Don't," he told me, his eyes shimmering with the threat.

"We're only a few miles from here. You remember the way."

Seth coughed in the back, blood dripping in thick strings from his mouth. "This is how the world is Grace. You know that better than anyone. I don't see things changing anytime soon."

"I do," I said and turned the ignition. I peeled out, leaving Travis on his own. I watched him turn into a shapeless figure and eventually disappear entirely.

"Thank you," Seth said, teeth clattering. I lifted my eyes to the rear view, he was already unconscious. His words made me feel lighter, but only for a second. We drove on in silence, the car drifting with the road like a bird on a current.