Legally Blonde The Musical But It's Vines and Songs.

Chapter One

{Elle when she sees Warner and says "And I don't think you're very handsome."}: *smacks him in the head with a pillow* MOVE, BITCH..GET OUT DA WAY. 

{Elle Callahan harasses (sexually) her}: E: What the fuck, is this allowed? What the fuck is this allowed? C: Stop. 

{All of Harvard when they first see Elle}: HER CLOTHES...WHACK. HER SHOES...WHACK. HER HAIR...WHACK. HER SMILE...WHACK. ME...IM TIGHT AS FUCK. 

{Elle to Vivian before they become friends} E: Omg Marlene, your speech was so good. V: OMIGOD I just improvised- E: OMIGOD WHY CANT YOU JUST TAKE THE FREAKING COMPLIMEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNT???!!!

(AN: so ok for the Whipped Into Shape number, my school had the boys wear tank tops, and one of them is really pale in real life so I thought his shirt was off, ok just wanted to give that context. I choked on air.) Me: *Quesandalia eats candy cane, chokes.** Also me: Jel-lo, more like hell-lo, *chokes*. Also me: *sees rat, trips* I-is it real? 

{Elle when she decides to go after Warner}: AY YO, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOIN FOR A SWIM. (AN: yes I'm a HUGE fucking Nicki Minaj stan)

{Elle on the first day of class when she gets kicked out}: Callahan: Name a yellow fruit. Elle: OrANgE. C: name an animal that has four letters in its name. E: ALigAtOr. Also the entire song Stupid Hoe by Nicki Minaj. Also Elle: Who am I, let's go to the beach beach? NiMki MiNdAj. 

{Elle to Warner at the end of the show/movie}: First things, I'm the realest *realest* Drop dis an let the whole world feel it An I'm still in da murda business I can hold you down, like I'm givin lessons in physics *right right* You should wan a bad bitch like this Drop it low and pick it up just like this Cuppa Ace, cuppa Goose, cuppa Crus High heels wor a half a ticket on my wrist, Takin all the liquor straight never chase that *never* Rooftop like we bringin 88 back *what* Bring the hooks in where the bass at? Champagne spillin you should taste that. (and the rest of Fancy by Iggy Azalea)

{When Brooke gets up on the table in Whipped Into Shape}: LETS MC FRIKING LOSE IT, *bass* GET OUTTA YO MIND, *bass* GET OUTTA YO MIND. 

{Callahan when Elle makes a fool of herself}: NO POMEGRANATES. NO NO NO NO POMEGRANATES!! I DONT WANT THEM ANYWHERE. AM. I. CLEAR. I'll say it once more, NO POMEGRANATES. Also Callahan: I said whoever threw that paper, yo mom's a hoe.