i'll save you

6. talk

saturday, august 22
7:04 am

jordyn.

I wake to a billion missed calls and texts from Miles. I know I fucked up. I wasn't there for him when he needed for me. I wasn't even thinking last night. I barely remember half the shit that happened. I just remember going to the party and getting pressured into taking just "one" drink, but everyone knows that one drink never means just one.

I instantly call Miles back, and when he answers the phone I can hear the pain in his voice.

"Baby? Are you okay?"

"He was beating her, Jordyn. In front of Morgan. I'm angry. I'm really about to fly down there and beat his ass," he says coldly.

"Where is he?"

"At the police department, I think. I really don't care where he is, but I just care about how many times I can break his jaw."

"Baby... I'm so sorry."

"Where were you, J? I was calling you all night."

"I know..." I say, too embarrassed and ashamed to even talk to him.

"Where were you?" he asks again.

"There was a party for freshman. The girls convinced me to go."

"I'm guessing you drank."

I can't find the right words so I just don't answer. I promised him I'd stop. I just get so caught up. Then, I start thinking about Nathan... and the car accident. And I just want forget. The alcohol helps. For a little at least.

"Say something, J."

"I don't know what to say."

"You were too drunk to call me back on the worst night of my life."

"Baby, I didn't know that that was gonna happen to you. And I didn't plan on drinking. I tried," I sigh.

"Yea... you tried. Look, I gotta go," he scoffs.

"I'm sorry, Miles. Are you going home?"

"Yes. I knew I should've never left them. I wanna transfer to Miami."

"What about basketball?"

"Fuck basketball."

That was the exact moment I knew that my Miles wasn't the same. Ever since I've known the boy, basketball has been the most precious thing to him. That and family. And now it's like it's gone. The whole piece of him that was so dedicated and in love with the sport is just gone.

"Don't say that. You love basketball."

"No, I don't. I love my family. And I'm going home."

"I'm sorry, Miles," I say, not knowing what else to say.

"Sober up. I'll talk to you later. Eat something."

"Miles, I didn't—"

"I know. You didn't mean to."

"What can I do?"

"Nothing. I just wish you'd stop drinking, but I know that's not as easy as it sounds. Other than that, nothing."

"Miles... I'm so sorry. I tried," I cry, tears starting to fall.

"I know. Look, I gotta go. I'll text you when I figure this out. Eat."

"Mi-"

"I love you."

I don't respond to him because I know the minute I do he'll hang up. I don't want him to hang up. I want to hear his breath and his voice.