Confessions of a Reindeer, or How I Killed Rudolf.

The short tale of how a disgruntled, Vixen takes matters into his own hands.

            Vixen sat on his heated bed inside his stall. He could hear the others out in the common area, laughing and celebrating. Another successful Christmas Eve had passed.

            “Hey Vix, are you gonna come out here or do we have to drag you by your antlers?” Cupid yelled from the hall.

            Vixen let out a huff and turned his body inward. How could he celebrate when he was there? Just because everyone adored him and bowed down at his feet that didn’t mean he had to. Forget that. He was his own reindeer and didn’t need to be a freak show to prove that he deserved to be the leader of Santa’s team.

            “What’s the matter with you? You got an icicle up your butt or something?” Donner used his head to push open the stall door.

            Vixen turned his back to him. “There’s nothing stuck up my anything. I’m just not in the mood to celebrate. Is that a crime?” He felt the hairs on his nose itch, the way they always did when he lied.

            “Listen, I know it’s been tough for you. You really should’ve been guiding the sleigh this year-“

            “That’s right,” Vixen cut him off. “It was my turn. This has been planned for twelve months now. It’s not fair!” he shouted.

            Donner put his hoof on Vixen’s shoulder. “I know man, I know.” His voice was soft and reassuring. “But no one saw that blizzard coming. Not even Blitzen and you know he’s the most reliable weather reindeer we’ve got.” Donner moved a carrot in front of Vixen.

            Vixen sniffed the perfectly orange carrot and even though he didn’t want to eat it, he did. “Santa agreed that we’d take turns being in the number one spot, and now I have to wait an entire year! And what then? Huh? What if next Christmas Eve another blizzard hits, or a massive fog and Santa has to call in his little red-nosed pride and joy. ” He spit the green end of the carrot out and watched it splat along the stall wall.

            “First of all, I’m sure next year will be your year. And second of all, you know that Santa loves us all the same.” Donner stood now, his prominent stance making Vixen surrender a bit of his pride.

            “We’ll see,” Vixen said without conviction.

            Donner walked back to the front of the stall. “So, will you come out the party?”

            “In a minute,” Vixen said. He heard Donner leave his stall. He knew it might seem petty to be this upset. Santa’s reindeer were supposed to be one big family. There shouldn’t have been animosity amongst them. But honestly everything had been fine before he showed up.

            Five years ago, when Vixen was just a young buck, all had been right at the North Pole. He had his gang of reindeer brothers always there to support him. Donner—the goofball buck who ended up being one the best leaders the group could have. Comet—known for his speed and his ability to tell a joke so funny many an elf would toss their cookies. Cupid—the romantic, nicknamed Don Cupid Juan. Blitzen—one of the coolest reindeer at the North Pole, he always had this uncanny ability to predict the weather. Dasher—every group needs a brain and Dasher had an IQ that could rival Santa himself. Dancer—it was a bummer when his dad told him he couldn’t take professional dance lessons any longer but it turned out all right, he became the go-to reindeer to see before asking any doe out to one of Santa’s formal dances. Prancer—no one cared—or was surprised—when he came out of the closet, or stall so to speak, and if you needed advice on which harness brought out your eyes Prancer was your reindeer. They were Santa’s dream team. Trained by the Colista Coolwind they would be able to handle any challenges that came their way during the Christmas Eve run.

            The problems didn’t start until the red-nosed wonder showed up. It was speculated that he was from Mars—hence the red nose—turned out he was simply adopted by the elderly couple, Francine and Richard Crindle. When he first showed up he seemed pretty cool. He was kind of quiet but not the type of reindeer to cause problems, until the sleet storm of nineteen eighty-eight. The gang was all saddled up for the run. Vixen and Dasher were at the head of the pack.

            “This storm sure is going to put a damper on our ride boys.” Santa said while passing out carrots and magic corn to the group. “I have to say I’m a bit worried.”

            But Vixen wasn’t worried. They had flown through bad weather before. True the sleet storm would make things a bit tricky, but he felt confidant that the trip would be successful as always.

            “Boss, boss!” The little pig-nosed elf named Sheldon came running up to Santa just before take off. “There’s no way without some sort of light you’ll be able to navigate through this mess. But the elves and I have come up with a plan!” He was so excited that he jumped up and clicked his heels together.

           That’s when Vixen saw him. Rudolf. He walked; no he strutted his way up to the front of the line, nose glowing brightly. A little red button of smug.

            “Santa, with my nose so bright, can’t I guide your sleigh tonight?” Rudolf said.

            And that was that. A ho, ho, ho, later the team was flying high with Rudolf at the helm. From that point forward Santa felt it would be good luck to have Rudolf always lead the pack.

            Back in his stall Vixen tucked a small red-velvet pouch in his jingle bell ankle cuff. “This was supposed to be my year.” his voice was low and gruff.

            “Hey look who finally decided to take his head out of the snow!” Comet moved towards Vixen and locked antlers with him playfully. “You alright man?” he asked quietly.

            “I’m great.” Vixen stated. He head wrestled with Comet for a bit before locking his sites on the reindeer in the corner of the room. He watched Rudolf standing off in the corner, near his water trough. Vixen felt his back leg muscles tighten with each step he took towards Rudolf. He felt more and more distain the closer he got.

            “Hey Vixen. Nice to see you.” Rudolf stopped drinking his water.

            “Nice run tonight,” Vixen said through a clenched jaw.

            Rudolf took a step back from Vixen. “I’m really sorry about you getting bumped. That storm was killer though.”

            “Yes…killer.” Vixen took a step forward. “I agree, it was killer. My throats super dry, do you mind if I take a sip of your water?” Vixen softened his voice.

            Rudolf stepped aside, “Sure, no problem. It’s really hot in here.”

            Vixen carefully eased his head down to the water. When he noticed out of his peripheral vision that Rudolf was looking towards the crowd of elves doing the limbo he made his move. His mouth quickly pulled out the red-velvet sack and he dumped the contents into the trough. “Wow, that sure if refreshing water you’ve got there,” he said licking his mouth clean.

            “Yeah, Santa has mine imported from Iceland.” As soon as Rudolf said it he bowed his head down, aware he was bragging.

            “You don’t say,” Vixen responded. “Well by all means, drink up!”

            Vixen watched as Rudolf lowered his head and took a long, slow drink. “Ah, I do love my water.”

            Vixen turned and walked away. A moment later he heard the loud thud of Rudolf’s body hitting the ground.

            “Rudolf!” the group of elves shouted before rushing towards him.

            Vixen continued to walk; no strut, back to his stall, “Goodnight, Rudolf.”