Save me from Suffocation

Ch.4

*Rin's pov*

The morning comes too soon. Despite not being able to sleep much last night, the hours seemed to pass agonizingly slow, yet gone so fast. 

It seemed like I had just closed my eyes, finally, when Yukio was yelling for me to wake up. 

I get up slowly, completely exhausted from the night before. The injury in my side has healed significantly, my arm still aching from the holy water. 

I put on my uniform and skip breakfast, joining Yukio at the front doors of our dorm building. 

We walk side by side, silently, to the door we use to get into cram school. The atmosphere is thick between us, and I can tell it is because of our conversation last night.

I brace myself as I walk in.

The room goes slightly silent and everyone turns to look at me.

Some people glare, while others give me looks of pity.

Pity.

They don't care about you.

You're worthless.

Bon comes up to me and I wait for harsh words from him. Why are you so weak, I had to save you? If I had gotten hurt, it would have been all your fault!

"Are you feeling better?" he asks in a low voice.

I cough, surprised.

"Uh... yeah? You-- uh, y-you're not making fun of me for being weak." I say quietly, confused.

His eyebrows furrow, "What? What happened wasn't your fault, it was the demon's."

That's not what Yukio said.

I shrugged, "I guess..."

He frowns and turns away, going back to his friends and sitting in his seat. 

Was he being... nice to me?

Of course not!

You don't deserve niceness from anyone.

He was saying that out of pity.

He knows how embarrassing it is to not be able to fight a weak demon, like Osoreru.

He feels bad for you.

Guilty conscience. He knows if he hadn't of saved you, you'd probably be dead.

I scoff at the voice in my head. I'll be dead soon anyway. He should have just left me for the dead. It would have solved everyone's problems.

I take a seat at the back of the classroom, not in the mood to fake happiness. I try hard to focus on the classes and not sleep, but it is very hard because of the amount of sleep I got last night.  

I must have dozed off for a moment because Yukio's annoyed voice snaps me out of it. 

"Rin! Wake up and pay attention!" he snaps at me.

My head shoots up and I hear a few snickers around the class.

"I'm sorry." I meekly utter and I see Bon frowning out of the corner of my eye. 

Disappointment.

Mess up.

Useless.

Can't do anything right.

Annoying.

Waste of space.