Atlas

Chapter 9: Destruction

Shizuo took his time on his shopping trip.
When Izaya had clung to him, he'd finally accepted it.

He was in love with the flea.

How, he had no idea. After all he wasn't sure what Izaya truly was like.
He worried it was chemical, biological, animal. And not real.

But either way, he spent three or so hours wandering the streets getting over, firstly how much Izaya's state was breaking him, and secondly, just how much he wanted to kiss the guy.

He then spent an hour at his house collecting supplies for living with the flea for a prolonged period.

He spent a further three hours mentally repeating all the reasons pursuing this fragile man was a terrible, terrible idea right now and that he had to stay in control. Complete control.

Then another hour finding stores open late to actually buy the groceries.

———

When he finally returned it was dark. Outside and in.
He froze in the doorway, his mind racing.
Had Izaya left?
Had some bastards come to kill him?
Was he-

Shizuo turned on the lights, searching the rooms one at a time. Heart racing.
"Izaya! IZAYA!"

He found the ravenette in the bathroom, curled on the floor.
The light from the doorway reflected off the pooling blood and glinting razor.
Shit. SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT.

Shizuo raced over and desperately bundled the informant in his arms, leaping back down the stairs and heading at full speed to Shinra's.

"Shi-Shizuo?" Izaya's voice was so soft it was nearly lost in the wind.

"Damn flea! What did you do that for!"

"But...but you weren't... coming back..."

Shizuo improvised.
"You idiot, of course I was, I can just come and watch you 24 7 without notifying a few people!"

When there was no reply, Shizuo glanced down to see Izaya had lost consciousness.

"CRAP! IZAYA, YOU FUCKER STAY CONSCIOUS!"

———

He kicked the underground doctors door off its hinges.

"SHINRA!!!"

Let's just say, Celty and Shinra weren't happy to be interrupted.
But the state of Izaya drove all those thoughts from their minds.

Shinra barely had a moment to stop, Celty assisting him as best as she could.
Finally, the flurry of movement slowed and with the informant stable, they turned to the bodyguard.

"What in the nine levels of hell did you do?"

"Something stupid."

Shinra rolled his eyes in exasperation, "now we've established the obvious, care to explain exactly what you did?"

Shizuo nodded dumbly.

———

"So, for the first time since I've known him, Izaya shows weakness to someone, lets his mask fall, and you not only leave him like that, but then take several hours longer than you were supposed to be gone, leading this incredibly fragile and vulnerable man to assume the very worst...that the only person he had even risked trusting had abandoned him?"

Shizuo flinched.

"I...I realised how I felt about him...and I needed to process that before I said too much..."

"You prat! He's loved you since the day you met! You should have seen how his eyes shone when he first laid eyes on you! Or how they dulled after you refused to shake his hand!
Say too much... he couldn't be told enough!"

Shinra panted, overwhelmed by anger.

"Why the fuck to you think we told you about this? No one... no one else could get away with what you have over the last few days. It probably wouldn't have mattered what you did...just having you around would have stopped him... him..."

He wilted and Celty gave him a gentle hug from behind.

Shizuo stood, taking each word like the punches they were, fighting tears, throat dry. He could see it now.
The glint in Izaya's eyes when they'd first met. Not malice...hope. He thought he'd found another monster...someone would understand, someone he could be alone with.

His fists clenched with the urge to break something but one glance at the pale figure of Izaya made it drain out of him.

"I'm sorry...so so sorry."

He wasn't sure who he said it too.