The One with the Ring or the One for Me? |Randy Orton|

Chapter 20: Life Without Him

         It’s been two weeks since the date with Randy, the night I got the kiss of my life, and I couldn’t be more miserable without him. Not talking to him, not seeing his face, and his laugh…how I miss his laugh… “Jaz?” the door opens with its normal creak; I turn on my side with my back to the person coming in. “Come on, love…this isn’t healthy.” His voice rings again, why can’t you be him? I want so bad to yell at Kyle but knew it would cut him too deep.

       “I’m fine…” I croak out my voice sounding like I just came from being lost in the desert, guess that’s what happens when you haven’t spoken in nearly two weeks.

       The bed tilts down a bit as Kyle takes a seat placing his hand gently on my thigh, I want to swat it away but I didn’t have the energy for it. “I’m sorry about all of this, I know I was cruel to you in the beginning but only because I didn’t want this to happen.” I roll my eyes at his words, he could lie all he wants I know the truth and the truth is he is happy things with Randy went sour. “Raw is on…” he tries with a cheerful voice; I turn over on my back to stare at the TV screen waiting for him to flip it on.

       He gives his biggest smile at me before turning on Monday Night Raw, “I’m going to get you some soup,” Kyle adds climbing up and leaving I stare at my phone on the nightstand it has been turned off from the moment I came home that night, afraid of what Randy may text. Against my better judgment I grab the phone and turn it on hoping Kyle doesn’t come in and snatch it away.  378 Messages, appears on the screen and my heart jumps with joy and yet fills with pain all at once.

       “That is like one message per hour…” I sigh thinking how romantic that is, also a little creepy but mostly romantic! I skim through the texts just when I read the latest one, his music blares on the TV shocking me. My heart is in my throat as tears start to flow again at the look of his face that I miss so much, “Randy.” I whisper through the tears needing to be held,  

      He was smiling on his way down to the ring, no doubt anyone that didn’t really really know him would think he was happy but I could see it in his eyes. That dark pit of loneliness, it was evident to me he was hurting just as I was…then again maybe that is wishful thinking. What if he isn’t the slightest hurt and he is over me already? The thought makes me wince, as the tears slide down more violently, he wins his match and I sigh with relief Randy is always quick to leave the ring after a match, or well he used to be, he takes his time celebrating with his fans making it harder on me.

      “Who is winning?” Kyle’s voice echo’s its way down the hall, I wipe my eyes quickly trying to hide all signs of the pain as the door creaks open and I see his back to me to push it since his hands had a tray of food in them. Just when he is about to turn around I remember the phone in my hand I quickly stick it under my pillow, before meeting his smile with my own surprising him.

      “I don’t remember,” I lie, looking back up at the TV screen now on a commercial, I could feel Kyle’s eyes searing through my skin not sure whether or not he should believe me.

      “Randy returned tonight didn’t he?”

      His voice catches me off guard and I start to tense up he had that same tone of that day he went crazy on me, I’m not sure what gave me away –maybe it was the fact that I smiled and the puffiness in my eyes. “What?” his face doesn’t even flutter as he glares hard, not even justifying my ignorance with a response. “Yes…” I finally give in, there was no getting past Kyle when he was this protective.

      “I don’t want you talking to him.” He says plainly like the father of a misfit teenager, anger starts to boil I am grown the fact that I was being treated like a child really was starting to piss me off.

      He places the tray over my legs, leaning down to blow on the soup that was steaming heavily, I reach for the spoon but he swats my hand away gripping it himself. Bringing it to his lips he blows on it lovingly, before starting to lead it to me, I could just hear his arrogant voice in my head saying here comes the train, choo choo making me snap. “If you do one more thing that makes me feel like a child, I will murder you…” I say through clench teeth, “and that isn’t a figure of speech I will literally murder you, Kyle.”

      “Maybe if you stopped acting like a child, I wouldn’t have to treat you like one.” He says looking down at me like he is better than me, he knew the moment our eyes met he made a huge mistake by saying those words. I flip the tray in my lap over –Not even caring that soup was now all over my bed–chasing him through my house when he finally gets smart and locks himself in the bathroom.

      “Kyle, open this door now.” I say very stern like a mother, wanting him to feel the same I did, degraded and not worthy.

      “Hell no, you said you would kill me!” He screams from the other side, I could hear his breathing very heavy from the run and I knew his body was pressed against the door for good measure.

     “Look, I’m sorry…you just know how to get under mommy’s skin that’s all sweetie. I got carried away just come out so we can talk about this.” I say not even trying to hide the fact that I was treating him like a child, I could hear his breathing still behind the door. “Come on, please. I’ll take you to the store and you can buy any toy you want…” I coo to the door,

      “Don’t talk like that, it’s weird…” His voice picks up again, as the door pulls open and he has a look of confusion on it.

      “My point exactly.” I groan, he looks at me knowingly then switches to a pouty face and I knew I was about to get an apology from Kyle my best friend, not Kyle my dad. Ugh.

      “Jazzy…” he coos his bottom lip quivering just slightly as he lays his head on my shoulder, “I sowwy…” he blinks his eyes repeatedly trying to be adorable, and I must admit he succeeded.

      “It’s fine, I forgive you.” I giggle at the smile that spreads across his face, “But,” I add quickly and the smile falls. “Only if you let me call Randy…” The color drains from his face and his eyes swirl green with jealousy. “I need closure, until I get that I will never be happy again…”

      “I’ll be back in half an hour, be done by then please…” he says nonchalant but I could see how much those words hurt him, as he fought against leaving.  

      I walk back into my room, staring at the mess on my bed. “Ugh, I don’t think things through when I’m mad.” I groan at my stupidity, before ripping off all my sheets and leaving them there where is daddy Kyle when you need him to clean your room? I stare at the mess and let out a chuckle at what just happened, man I can get crazy.

      “Okay, time is ticking…” I sigh, now looking at the phone in my hand Randy’s name in my contact list my finger would get so close to pushing it before I would yank it back. What if he doesn’t want to hear from me? A tear slides down my face, when I realize the phone says it’s now calling him.

      “Jaz?” His voice says with the slightest bit of panic in it, making my mind ease.

      “Hey…” He let out a sigh, almost as though he could now die happy since he heard my voice. “Can we meet up when you get back in town, I feel like we need to talk?” There was a silence and I started to wonder what was on his mind, “Randy?”

      “Uh, yeah…I’ve been thinking since you left…I really need to choose between Sam and you. It’s not fair that I keep both of you, I need to let one go.” He says and my heart swells with pride, he was no longer being selfish and only thinking of himself.

      “Yeah, well whoever you choose you know I support it. You’ll always be my first true love, that no one will ever be able to top, you set the standards pretty high.” I smile with tears beading in my eyes, this felt like a goodbye already and my heart wasn’t liking it.

      “And I love you, no matter what.” His voice got choked up, making my bottom lip quiver “How is Thursday?” he asks,

      “Good for me, see you then.” I try to force a cheerful voice but I think he could hear that it wasn’t necessarily sincere,

      “See ya’ then.”