Dear Millie

6

Dear Millie,

School started today. It was the same, except entirely different because there was a huge hole where you should have been. Becca apparently had a great time at her camp and didn't even hear that you've been away. She cried for a little bit, but she didn't really know you and she's super emotional. I spent the day by myself. I didn't even talk to the teachers when they called on me in class. Remember the maple tree down by the pond where we had lunch every day? They cut it down. I hope you're having fun wherever you are without me. I'm not okay without you. Emma didn't say hi to me. We only have Math together, but she didn't even acknowledge my presence, or the lack of yours. I wish I could just be in a room of nothing forever where no one would bother me and nothing was wrong. Maybe that room is where you are now. I don't know. 

Yesterday I said your name for the first time out loud since the plane. I didn't say it to anyone, just to myself. It still felt like I had been knocked out for a second, and then everything came into focus so clearly. Needless to say, I cried. A lot. Rosalind told me that I should be moving past you at least a bit by now. I just told her no. She doesn't know what I'm going through. I hope I see you soon.

Love you so much, Paris