By the Skin (completed)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

TRIGGER WARNING:

Mention of previous panic attack.

If you have skipped Chapter 8 due to heeding the warning from that chapter, the events of that chapter will be summed up in a less-triggering way.

"Evangeline!"

The voice of my mother trembles when exiting her throat as she runs to my side, lifts me up, engulfs me into the biggest hug I've ever had with her. "Forgive me, anak,"  Tears begin to stream from her face and trail down my shoulder. I don't know what's going on.

"I don't know what's going on." I repeat my thoughts, as this is the best I can do for being in this confused state. 

I sit up and observe my surroundings. I'm in a hospital bed. We're at Birmingham Hospital Center, which is about twenty minutes from my home.

I don't remember getting here. All I know is that it is a day after I got my hair cut with Mayo.

To my left is an IV bag with a tube connecting to my left hand, a box of tissues, and a big computer-thing tracking my pulse which occasionally beeps to remind us that it's there. To my right is a nightstand with a bottle of hand sanitizer and a chair by it. In front of me is a bottle of water, a cup of mango jelly, and another hospital bed covered by a curtain accompanied with a chair resembling the one next to my bed. I look down. I have no blanket, and I'm not in a hospital gown. I'm in a sweater and pants I don't remember putting on. My sleeves are rolled up and there is long bandage wrapped around both of my arms. I'm just me, lying down on a hospital bed with bandages and an IV.

"Don't cry, nay."  I attempt to wipe her tears with my finger, but trying to raise my arms causes me immense pain. She stops me because she knows I'm trying too hard. "Why am I here?"

"I don't know. You went out to meet up with Elliot, and the next thing I know, you've been taken to the hospital." She pulls away from me and wipes her tears. "But Mayo's here, with her father. She wants to talk to you."

I nod, and she walks out of the room. I lay back down and take some more time to observe my surroundings. Behind the IV bag is a big window, with one half of it covered by a curtain. Outside, the sky mixes a sunset orange with the dark gray of clouds. The subtle sound of a light rain compliments the scene. It's not long before Mayo enters the same way my mom did, hugging me oh so tightly. Trying to hug back, my arms itch and sting. 

"Hi, Mayo," I lay back down and turn my gaze to the ceiling. "Why am I in the hospital?"

She takes the seat next to me and rests her arms on the sidebar of my bed. 

"My dad and I wanted to stop by the convenience store for more mango juice," Mayo looked at the sky, and I turn my head to look with her. "And Elliot ran to us, carrying you. He was panting really hard and he looked frantic."

And then I remember. 

I remember everything.   

I remember my panic attack. I remember scratching my arms until the skin was torn apart. I remember passing out due to lack of oxygen. And I even remember Elliot finding me and the last things I heard before I fully lost conciousness. I try to imagine it again.

Footsteps. Fast, vigorous, long sets of footsteps. I look up, and I see the bottom of Elliot's chin as he runs and looks around for help. He carries me princess-style. He comes to a sudden stop and I can feel his hot breath while he attempts to catch it. 

"Cazzo!" Alfredo screams in horror. I can hear the dropping of a plastic bag filled with what I know now are mango juice cans. More footsteps echo, but not Elliot's. They belong to Mayo and Alfredo.

"Evangeline!" I can hear my best friend Mayo Ostelli. She sprints up to Elliot and her tears splash onto my almost lifeless body. "What happened? What happened?"

"She ran away from me and I thought she forgot something at home 'cause we were gonna hang out." There are no pauses in his sentence. "Ev didn't come back for a while so I went to check on her and she was on the ground."

"Holy shit," Mayo mutters. 

"Does the man that came with you have a car?"

"Don't you have a car?"

"It doesn't matter. I can't drive under pressure - Does he have a car?"

"Yes. Dad!" She calls Alfredo, who is audibly panicking. "Accendi la macchina."

I hear more footsteps and the sound of an engine starting before I pass out completely.

"So where's Elliot?"

"He was here just before your mom came. Elliot was the one to call her. And he stayed by your side until your mom arrived and he drove away." She laughed a little bit. "He actually left his car at the convenience store so he walked all the way back in the rain.'

I think I've been over-exaggerating this Elliot thing.

No. Wait.

"Does he know?"

I can feel Mayo freeze up. "About what?"

"Everything, Mayo."

She sighs.

 "Evangeline, he was asking me a lot of questions-"

"Please leave."

"You don't understand. I had to tell him. Listen to me, please-"

"Please, leave."

"We talked over things, and-"

"Leave!"

My voice rises, and its echo burns my throat and brings tears to my eyes in the silence. I can see Mayo has tears in her eyes, too.

"No, wait-" I try putting my hand out to stop her, but the stinging in my arm won't stop. She's too far out of my reach.

"Forgive me." Her tone is a hushed whisper, with the end of her short sentence cracking like she was about to cry. Mayo closes the door softly.

I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have lied to Elliot and I shouldn't have screamed at Mayo.

And now I'm alone, with only the rain watching me.