Broken(13 Reasons Why)

12.1

~Althia~

"Are you ready to have this conversation with him?" Jessica asked me as we sat in her living room, waiting for Justin to come over like he said he would be doing soon.
"I don't know" I answered honestly "I mean, there's a lot that I want to get off my chest but at the same time I don't want to hurt his feelings you know?" I added
Jess sighed at my answer
"You shouldn't even be worrying about hurting his feelings, he certainly doesn't when it comes to you" She said, mumbling the last part
"Jess" I sighed
"It's true!" She exclaimed
"Yes I know that" I told her "I think I remember last night pretty clearly" I added
"Then why are you worried about hurting his feelings?" She asked me
"I honestly wish I could tell you" I said
Before she could respond, the doorbell rang and I got up slowly, knowing that it was Justin. Jessica took a few steps in front of me to answer her door and as soon as she was greeted by Justin, she crossed her arms.
"Listen here, you're lucky enough that I'm even allowing you to come near Alt right now and if it wasn't for her saying that I couldn't, I would be beating your ass right now alongside of Jeff. Now if she comes back here crying or even remotely upset, you will pay for it" Was the way Jessica decided to greet Justin
"Jess please" I gently grabbed her hand to lead her away from the door
"I got it Jessica, I promise that won't be happening" Justin told her, keeping his eyes low. "You, uh, wanna go for a walk?" He asked me, glancing over Jess' shoulders where I was standing struggling to put my shoes on
I nodded but then realized he kept his gaze on the ground
"Yeah" I answered his question in the dumbest voice ever
"Be careful please and put your own heart in front of others this time" Jessica whispered to me before I walked out the door. I nodded quickly letting her know that I heard what she said.

Justin and I walked down her driveway and I followed him when he decided to go left. We stood side by side, a huge gap between us, as a very uncomfortable silence became unbearable between us.
"There's no other way to explain myself other than to say I'm sorry" Justin finally broke the silence between us. "What I did to you on Sunday was quite possibly the shittiest thing I could have ever done to you and if I would have known it was your first time..." He trailed off. "I mean I thought you and Zach-" He tried again "What I'm trying to say is that if I knew you were a virgin, I wouldn't have done what I had done" He glanced at me quickly. "Even if you weren't one, I shouldn't have just left you there. Fuck! What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for going MIA after we had sex and I'm sorry for treating you like an absolute piece of trash. Nobody deserves to get treated the way that I treated you. I don't deserve you" He finished
"I appreciate the apology but what I'm about to say next is what I think you need to hear" I started "From the moment we became friends, I noticed right away that whenever something goes slightly wrong you decide to just disappear from the Earth's surface and that honestly needs to stop Justin. You have to learn how to face your problems and how to deal with them. What good does it do for you to get high and play video games all day?" I continued "You gotta realize that you have tons of people in your life who are willing to help you with these problems, and even help you figure out solutions. I get that your home life is shit and I hate that you don't have an adult at home that you can trust but you have to open up your eyes and see that you still have people who care for and love you. You have plenty of people you can trust, you just gotta let them show you" I finished
"That's the thing though, Althia, I don't deserve that! I don't deserve to have friends who are willing to help me out of a shit situation. I don't deserve to stay at your house or Monty's or Zach's or Alex's or Jess' when my home gets too much! I don't deserve any of the friendships I have because all I do is throw them away and break them apart. That's the only thing I know how to do. I just break and break relationships and people until they're just as broken as me!" Justin stopped walking as he exclaimed his sentences.
"Please would you for one fucking second stop with your whole 'I'm broken, I don't deserve any good' act?!" I threw my hands up in frustration. "The very second I transferred to Liberty, I had 4 people tell me to stay away from you because you had a bad past that had broken you. Can you imagine if I would have listened to them? Montgomery wouldn't be one of my closest friends and I certainly wouldn't be in love with you!" I continued as I pulled at my hair. "I mean just for one goddamn second can't you see that I love and care about you, Justin! I don't give a single fuck about who your family is or what you did in the past or hell even what you do right now. You are not as broken as you think you are and you deserve everything in life that is given to you. Wake the fuck up and realize how grateful you are to have such friendships as you do" I looked at him
"You what?" He asked, his voice just as low as a whisper
"Don't act like you didn't know" I shook my head
"I don't deserve your love, Althia. I don't deserve you, can't you see that?" Justin responded
"Stop. Stop with that please." I begged him
We stood in silence, looking at one another.
"I've hurt you enough" Justin whispered
"Yeah Jus, you fucking hurt me. A lot. Now I'm broken just like you. Is that what you wanna hear?" I questioned
"No, I just-" He ran a hand through his hair
"Kiss me" I interrupted him
"What?" He snapped his head towards me
"Kiss me" I repeated
Justin took a step back to catch a good glimpse at my face before taking a deep breath and taking steps to be right in front of me. He held my face and looked into my eyes before dipping his head to have his lips meet mine. Justin brought me closer to him as he never let go of my face, my hands went up to his shoulders as our lips moved in sync.

It was in that moment that I realized we were both going to be okay and that we were going to get through this. It was in that moment that I realized it was all worth it. It was in that moment that I realized falling for the Broken was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

THE END