Let's Laugh Tonight.

Chapter One

"Joe just leave, go! Take your shit a leave. This isn't your home anymore and I am done putting up with you." I scream, growing red in the face as Joe, my insolent soon to be ex boyfriend, sits on my sofa watching my TV in my flat. He stares blankly ahead, seemingly not hearing my desperate pleas for him to leave.

Joe and I have been together for almost two years, after meeting through a work colleague. He had been such a dreamboat at the start, taking me on lovely dates and remembering the small things I'd mentioned. Then we moved in together, and things went downhill. He's lazy, stubborn, stuck in a dead end job which means I'm paying all of our bills and yet he still has the time and money to go to the pub nearly every night? I've had enough. Today was the final straw. Joe started a screaming match because he noticed I'd bought some new clothes and was questioning how I had the money. On any other day, I might lie and say it was birthday money, or donated clothes from my sister. But today, today I felt that little bit stronger.

"Joe I am done. I am done acting like your mother. I cook, I clean, and you live here rent free, treat my wage as if it's your own and then have the nerve to question how I choose to spend my money? No more. Get. The. Fuck. Out." Rage pours through me as he continues to ignore me, but the flare in his nostrils lets me know my words are taking effect. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks in the frustration, because the truth is, in this moment I'm not even sad. Disappointed in myself, maybe, that I have let myself be walked all over for almost two years. What a waste.

Without a word, Joe pushes himself off the sofa and stalks into our, my, bedroom. I give myself a moment to sit an calm myself down, remembering just twenty four hours ago when this happened and I'd chased him into the bedroom throwing apologies at him and eventually letting him fuck me, eyes wide open, imagine it's happening to someone else sex. How had I let myself get to this point? I suppress a sob and put my head into my hands, letting the tears fall.

Twenty minutes later, Joe walks out of our bedroom, two suitcases in toe and that same blank expression. "I'm going to stay with Luke for a while" He says, looking straight towards the door. A single tear cascades down his cheek and I almost feel guilty for a second. "I'm sorry Joe, but I can't do this anymore".

He sighs and turns, walking towards me. My heart sinks, not knowing where this is going and preparing for the worst as his hand raises. I flinch as he rests his palm on my shoulder and pulls me in for a hug. We both let out a small sob as we rest in each other's arms for the last time. "I'm sorry too, Jess".

. . . . . . . . .

6 weeks later

Its crazy how much can change within six weeks. Looking at myself in the mirror now, I barely recognise myself. My brown, wavy hair that once cascaded down my back like something out of a princess story is now wrapped in a greasy bun on top of my head. My eyes are red and hang low on my face, my mouth sewn shut and voice hoarse. My body has taken the break up the worst though, piling on the pounds. I guess that's what happens when your daily exercise is the journey from your bed to your fridge to work to bed again. That's what my life has been for six whole weeks. Sleep, work and sometimes eat.

A bang at the door drags me away from my self-loathing. I know immediately it's my best friend and co-worker Larny on her daily attempt to drag me out of the house. It hasn't worked as of yet, but I envy her for trying. Lord knows I don't have it in me to try. I make my way through what can only be described as a cesspit of a flat and open the front door.

"Jesus Jess, it stinks in here, is that you?" Larny says the minute the door opens, barging her way in through to the front room. "Really babe, have a bit of pride look at the state of it in here!" She continues. This is very typical Larny, honest to a fault, but I wouldn't have her any other way. I take in her appearance, long blonde hair falling around her shoulders; a black bodycon skirt with a white silk shirt tucked in and black stilettos. She looked ready to kill. I decided to ignore her previous comments and tell her this; "You look incredible Larny, where are you off to tonight?" I asked, it was a Friday night after all, and Larny was not one to miss out on a party. We met at a house party 3 years ago, when I first moved to London, and been inseparable ever since. "Well," she says, stopping her judgemental scan of the flat long enough to give me a look that I know all too well, "There's a very small gathering tonight at Polly's flat and I think we should go show our faces" She finished with tight lips that tell me she doesn't want to argue on this. I let out a sigh and plop myself on the sofa. "Jess please, darling. You can't spend the rest of your life sleeping, going to work, eating and listening to Harry Styles on repeat!" Ah, she was right. I'd been sleeping, working, sometimes eating and mainly listening to Harry Styles. He'd released his first debut album about a week after me and Joe had split and I've had it on replay ever since. What can I say? Once a directioner, always a directioner.