The Council of Levi's

HI GUYS. OKAY SO I WROTE THIS ONE SHOT THE OTHER DAY, AND THOUGHT YOU GUYS MIGHT APPRECIATE IT.

I woke up to the sound of a rock scratching the nylon of my tent, the irritating squeak removing me from my prostrate position in my sleeping bag. I looked to the softly snoring body beside me and reached for my sturdy shotgun, prepared to kill off whatever twitching, oozing bastard decided to interrupt my eight hours.

I threw my zipper open and aimed at the source of the noise, but much to my surprise there was no infected anywhere in the vicinity, the thick black night shrouding my view, but my acclimation to the darkness revealing nothing. Only a rock with an envelope bound to it with an oddly intact black ribbon. I hadn't seen paper in such pristine condition in months. Any paper that had survived ended up being either sun bleached or water damaged. Confused, I lifted the rock and unbound the envelope, tearing the seal and climbing back inside the tent to sit down while I read the letter. Flicking the switch to my lantern I looked at the letter that seemed to be in my own handwriting, wondering if I had taken up sleep-writing. I really was losing my mind, I realized as I began to read through the letter.

Mr. Levi Ackerman:

The letter enclosed in this envelope contains a portal that will activate once you finish reading. The Council of Levis is having their mandatory centennial gathering and if you don't show up, bitch I swear to fuckin' God. Anyway, so you and your Eren are required to attend as soon as this letter is read. We need to discuss some shit, and I don't care if any one of you little pussys doesn't feel like it, too fuckin bad. You're coming.

As I continued reading the handwriting abruptly switched to Eren's penmanship. I was even more baffled by the fact that Eren had also been in on this, especially when I had no recollection of writing the letter, and he was fast asleep, still snoring beside me in his sleeping bag.

Ignore him. He's just grumpy, sorry about that.

But then Levi's pen came back into play and had scribbled out Eren's words, continuing with the letter.

When you get here, this bitch will shut the fuck up. Please. Help. Me. You understand.

RSVP

Cpt. Levi Ackerman and Pvt. Eren Jeager 104th Spec. Op. Infantry.

Council of Levis

As soon as my eyes scanned the last words on the page, the tent around us began to light up with a flourescent green light, and the last thing I saw was Eren pop his head up from the sleeping bag, his green eyes looking almost hallucinogenic as they bored into mine. His lips fell open as the tent around us began to drift away from our sight. I could feel an intense pressure tugging on my organs while I tried to continue sucking in air. All I could see in the green murk was Eren, looking just as shocked as I felt.

Almost as suddenly as the green light had come, it vanished away, Leaving me and Eren alone in an unfamiliar territory. It seemed almost as though we were in an old church. The ceilings were painted in several angelic looking murals, ornate friezes lining the walls, that seemed almost like they could have been from the Renaissance period, but everything looked new, like the building had been erected within the last ten years.

"What the fuck, Levi?" Eren finally exclaimed, his high voice cracking while he raised it at me. "Where are we?"

"Good question, brat. This is some weird dream, I guess, but I'm kinda grasping for straws here," I muttered, scratching the stubble that had begun to sprout on my chin.

"Dream?" I heard a familiar voice mutter from behind me. "The fuck?" I spun on my heel upon hearing the voice a second time, coming face to face with what looked exactly like a younger, more emo version of myself. He had a nose ring, I noted to myself in my head. What a pussy. "Bitch, this is the weirdest trip I've ever had. Talking politics with a tree was less weird than this and I didn't even do LSD this time," he snapped.